Random Walk in Ravana Vana
Random walk in Ravana vanaA Discourse
Chalasani koti Ravi Kiran.
Random Walk in Ravana Vana: A discourse.
Chalasani Koti Ravi Kiran
© Chalasani Koti Ravi Kiran.
I assert my moral right to be acknowledged as the author of this book and except for the purpose of review no part of this book may be reproduced in any form, without my prior written permission.
Acknowledgement.
I acknowledge my debt to the epic of Ramayana, Upanishads, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Immanuel Kant for influencing my thought but I alone accept responsibility for this book.
Preface.
The Ramayana is the cultural root for the “Hindu” family system. The term “Hindu” might include many sub sets but the cultural bond and the unifying theme among all those, who categorize themselves as “Hindu”, is the Ramayana.
One might hate, love, ignore, or revere the Ramayana, the presence is always there. It is hard to escape from that framework. Any framework exists by commanding faith from its adherents and for many that means restricting thought, and amputating rationality. This realization is the bedrock for this book.
Since the Ramayana as an epic is so ingrained in the “Hindu” psyche, and I call myself “Hindu”, I have chosen the framework expounded by the Ramayana, even referred to as “Panchama Veda”(fifth Veda), as a back drop for putting forward my ideas. In doing so I have not imposed any scholastic rigor on myself.
This book is a record of thoughts, conjectures, and associations mostly questioning the ethics promoted by Ramayana. Unless the reader is very familiar with the standard version of Ramayana, it is hard to find continuity in this book. For that I should apologize to the reader unfamiliar with the Ramayana.
This book is not a rendering of the Ramayana. There are innumerable renderings of the Ramayana, including Meghanadavadha Kayva, the antithesis of the Ramayana. I do not want to add one more rendering of the Ramayana. I have merely used the names of characters in the Ramayana and the broad strokes of the story line in the epic, to record my ideas, and my understanding of the framework elucidated by the Ramayana.
Ultimately this book is a promotion of free thought and rationality. Some might say it is a promotion of enlightened self-interest. I have attempted to leave the reader, who completes a reading of this book, with doubt or no faith, even towards the most fundamental and accepted concepts, and with a desire to question and seize.
I have consciously written this book at different “intellectual” levels, in belief that “intellectual level –1 “, is as sacred as “intellectual level – 2”. Any thought is sacred. Exploration of ones body is as sacred as exploration of life with the attendant philosophical renderings. However I structured the book in an ascending order of the accepted “intellectual levels”. I have further attempted to keep the mood of a chapter in tune with the intellectual level of that chapter. I apologize if it distracts the reader.
If the reader feels that this book has questioned his/her fundamental/sacred/cherished belief, then as author I can congratulate myself on succeeding what I have set out to do.
Contents
1. How I Came About Writing This Book. 5
2. Tale of Ramayana. 11
3. Rama Summons Me:
Part1: Birth of Rama 15
4. Sita Summons Me:
Part 1: Birth and Marriage 27
5. Rama Summons Me:
Part 2: Education, Tataki, Ahalya, and Marriage. 34
6. Kausalya Summons Me. 68
7. Rama Summons Me:
Part 3: Dharma and Conclusion. 76
8. Sita Summons Me: Part 2:
Relevance of Ramayana in this day 88
9. Sita Summons Me: Part 2:
Enlightenment And Conclusion 93
10. Hanuman Summons Me. 106
11. Ravana Summons Me. 115
12. Ravana’s discourse to Rama. 117
13. Repetition: My Thoughts and Enlightenment. 134
1. How I came about writing this book.
It’s the nights during which they really bother me. I mean the characters of Ramayana, the whole lot of them, Rama, Sita, Kaikeyi, Hanuman, Ravana, Tataki, Surpanakha, et all, the whole goddamn lot.
I have no love lost for them. In fact I positively dislike them. I guess they know it too, but still they come to me and bother me.
It’s worse in the nights. I close my eyes, and they come to me, telling me their sorry stories. Not one of them lived happily nor is happy with themselves now. I guess that is the worst part and that really hurts, when one is unable to reconcile their lives.
For this lot its still worse. They are neither living nor dead. None of them had a decent burial. Either they are Gods or cursed Gods, then how can death come to them, huh. Are they undead? .
I don’t know. If they were living, they could have made some amends. If they were dead, they would have gone to the judgement seat and zoom they would at least be faced with a reconciliation of their lives and a justification for their acts they did while they were alive.
Poor things, I sometimes pity them.
They still come to me, their justification, only a person who understands their sorrows flees and hates them.
Hmm! . Weird logic.
But there it is, I am stuck with them.
It all started when I was about ten or eleven years old, that’s when my mother told me the story of Ramayana, in the traditional form. I was impressed.
The good is good and bad is bad. Such clarity. The world-view is just black and white, not even a little bit of gray.
How easy to live your life, if you were to have faith in it.
There is this model with its ethics and framework for all your life’s decisions. You just have to know the framework by heart, choose the role you want to play and boom, you don’t have a difficult decision to make all your entire life. You can play act your very own Ramayana, especially when everyone around you has chosen to be a character of this Ramayana.
How convenient!.
Well, just to make things a wee bit dense, you pigeon hole everybody around you into a role of some character of Ramayana, even if the other person is not play acting, or worse, if he/she is play acting a different epic. Zing Zing Zing, but you still have your Ramayana going all around you in your life.
I guess that’s the reason it is so popular with grown ups too. As kids we used to love it because our elders loved it, and as you grow up you still love it because it’s so useful.
Well, anyway, I am a thirty year old and still have a love-hate relationship with it. Sorry state of affairs, isn’t it? Twenty years and still can’t decide whether to surrender to the epic or break free of it.
I guess, every father tries to be a Rama, and every mother tries to be a Sita.
Don’t know if they were happy with all their play-acting. But one thing I am sure is that they never have much of guilt. They were in the good roles see! . If they found life to be a burden, hey presto they were martyrs for the cause of Ramayana. That satisfaction is enough isn’t it? .
Well, there are others who were acting as Kaikeyi, Kausalya, and Dasaratha etc. Actually a father switch’s between the roles of Rama and Dasaratha. You see double role-playing.
Curious, there are not many takers for the role of Ravana, or even Hanuma, or Sugriva, and the like, the negative or subordinate roles.
Who came up with this grading system of the roles and the pecking order for the actors? .
Well Valmiki! .
The poor guys who take up the negative roles are supposed to suffer from the guilt of actually being the bad guys. It’s so clear. Good is good and bad is bad. But who knows may be they are the ones with the guts. Definitely Kaikeyi had more guts than Kausalya. Of that I am pretty sure.
Anyway, my parents poured down the whole drama down our throats, and we swallowed it, the whole of it. Yes sir, we did. Actually we all did, and we still do.
Well, in that happy blissful state of black and white I lived my life for the next ten years, until I was about twenty. It was then that the seed of my current trauma sprouted. I don’t know if I have to celebrate that moment or mourn it. I guess I will know when I know for sure whether I hate the Ramayana or love it.
That was the time when I finally got to know that babies are made by a man and woman, not by drinking payasam. It was a fact, and I accepted it without a trace of doubt. I was sure, pukka, and confident that it is so. So, instead of meditating on the philosophical significance of the whole epic my mundane, hyperactive mind concentrated on the payasam. Though I was going on for a while by then, I actually looked at my jizz, cum, out, da da da, or what ever you call it, my semen.
Did you ever look at it and meditate on it; if you do I am sure you will arrive at my conclusions. It looked like payasam. Yuk. Pretty gross. At that time I read in a book that the semen tasted sweet, and viola payasam is a sweet, the analogy seemed perfect. Later out of curiosity I tasted my semen and it tasted salty.
Disappointing! .
What to do, once the analogy entered my mind it refused to go away, whether it’s sweet or salty.
Later I was told by Valmiki, that this urge of my rational mind, not to accept and to demand proof, which made me do such obnoxious acts such as tasting semen, that endeavored me to the characters of Ramayana. You see they wanted a mind free from faith and acceptance, to infiltrate.
Hmm! Anyway with such thoughts swirling in my mind, during an argument, though I was aware sex is a taboo subject, I blurted out my analogy.
Boy, what a drubbing I got.
The funny thing is I believed, that I deserved it. I was not being a good boy like Rama. Rama never expressed any doubts. However tall the tales the Rishis told him. Why should I have crass thoughts?
After the drubbing I decided such ideas were crass because I was told I was thinking like a sex starved low life form. Very base, carnal and such like, OK you got the picture.
I was asked if any decent human being thinks about his parents having sex or making love?
Huh. Actually I do.
How do you think I was born?. But I do hope they were very much in love with each other while making me. Kind of feels good to think of oneself as a love baby, not a duty baby.
You know that there are different kinds of babies, right. The love babies, duty babies, and worse, hate babies, depending on how they are conceived.
By the way, what baby are you? .
Well any way, I was then instructed to look at the big picture. Not the mechanics of making babies, but the whole philosophical aspects of the Ramayana.
How it defines the various roles in a life.
How the story proves that fortitude is required to wade through this sea called family life.
For the good of the society, how the Ramayana elucidates the good and bad actions of humans, well all the regular details of the big picture. The other details are just story telling.
You see there should be enough myth and magic, to make it interesting for the kids, so that they can be conditioned early on. Payasam, is one such magic, and it doesn’t happen in our life.
I felt sufficiently castigated and turned my thoughts on to the big picture, as advised.
Rama rama, that was when all my troubles really began, my life was infested by various characters from the Ramayana. They just pop into my mind and start telling me their story, or shall I call it woes. They some how always have only sad things to tell about themselves. When they come, it’s like occupying my entire self. I can’t think of anything else and they colonize my mind. After relieving themselves, they let me go. But their stories linger on and on.
Every time when they are about to leave, after infesting me, I used to tell them not to come back and spread that message to the other characters. I beg them not to think of me as their private island, and to stop doing these things to me.
But nobody listens.
The same character comes again and again, in utter disregard of my requests. It sort of makes me helpless, out of control! . After ruining my life for about five years, I guess they decided to reduce the intensity and frequency. But god damn it, they refused to go away, and they invade me most during the nights.
Well the last straw was when Valmiki came to me. He wasn’t that bad, poor chap, he almost begged me to put his characters stories from my mind on to paper, and he offered me a deal.
The deal was, I put it on paper and they will leave me, the whole lot, never to come back again.
Well, they had their job easy. Its just working me, and they get what they want, which is to get their story right. For me, its bliss, nirvana, I can look forward to a future where I can have my thoughts and people my universe with the people I like.
No pushy, inconsiderate ones.
What does Valmiki get out of it?. May be he can finally offload his characters. I am not too sure, bit dense there. But I believe Valmiki is a man of honor and I expect him to keep his word.
Well what choice have I got. I took it, and here I am writing it all down, for whatever it is worth.
Well readers, wish me luck, that may I never be bothered by these characters again.
But do go on reading this book. That’s what the Gods and the cursed Gods of Ramayana wanted.
2. Tale of Ramayana.
For those of you who are not at all familiar with Ramayana, I will give a very brief version. Here it is.
There was a King Dasaratha, who had three wives, namely Kausalya, Sumitra and Kaikeyi. He did not have kids, so he asked a guy called Rishyasringa to perform a yagna. On performing it, this bloke Rishyasringa gave payasam, which these three women took and conceived, giving birth to four boys, named Rama, Lakshmana, Shatrugna and Bharata.
After a while, another bloke called Viswamitra took Rama and Lakshman, for fighting the Rakshasas and for their education. Rama killed a Rakshasi named Tataki, and lifted a curse (sapam) off Ahalya, and married a lady called Sita, whose foster father is named Janaka, after winning her in a swayamwaram, which is to string a bow.
After marriage Rama came back home to set up shop with his wife, and Dasaratha decided that he will crown Rama as the heir, and he sought the permission of all the Brahmins, and kings. No lowly gowly citizens for him. He announced that he has ruled for thousands of years and he is tired of ruling and wanted to give himself some rest, so he was foisting his beloved son on them to be the fresh tyrant.
This news made Rama very happy, naturally. He shared it with his mom, and brother lakshmana, who always stayed in his slave position in the presence of Rama.
Lakshamana’s slave position is to stand with folded hands and to take pleasure by feasting his eyes on the master! .
Rama informed Lakshmana that he would share in the kingship, which would be all pleasure and no work. Kausalya told Rama that she is redeemed at last.
In this happy hullabulla, there was a spanner thrown by Kaikeyi. Kaikeyi, on being prodded by her old and trusted maid Mandhara, that Dasaratha was making Rama the king contrary to the promise to make Bharatha king, that too when Bharatha is away from Ayodhya, and hence unable to prosecute his claims, confronted Dasaratha about this treachery.
Dasaratha being old and with the fear instilled by all the kula guru’s around that if he goes back on his word he would be roasted alive in hell, he succumbed to Kaikeyi’s diktats.
The poor kula guru instilled that fear in the king to honor his commitments to them, not to a lowly third wife. Anyway mental conditioning is a peculiar thing, takes things to their logical conclusion, and the fear did the harm.
Apart from the promise that Bharata would be made king, she also asked for the realization of a boon, which, in a sheer moment of stupidity Dasaratha granted Kaikeyi in a past war. As redemption of that boon, Kaikeyi asked Dasaratha to banish Rama in exile for fourteen years, so that the ascendancy of Bharata as a king will be without interference from Rama.
Accordingly Dasaratha asked Rama to relinquish his rights over the kingdom, if he has any, in favor of Bharata and to get lost in exile.
Each and every well-wisher and power-broker of Rama was crest fallen. Kausalya extolled Rama and for once Lakshmana advised Rama, to declare war and gain the kingdom by the force of arms. I guess Rama deemed that the political conditions are not right to declare war, or with all the conditioning he got, he decided that it may not look right and proper, or may be he really believed what he said, poor guy, but he took a righteous position, and preached.
He told Kausalya that she was wrong in giving such an advice, since as a dutiful wife, she should not tell him to wage war against her husband, and Lakshmana was wrong because he should not think of war with a brother and quieted everybody down. Finally after much psychological wrestling and debating with his mother and brother, (Sita’s opinion was not asked for nor was given), he finally decided to go into exile for fourteen years. He termed his present situation as Vidhi Vilasam (play of fate or something ordained by fate), and packed his bags.
Sita as a dutiful wife and Lakshmana as a dutiful brother followed Rama. May be Lakshmana decided that after he threw his lot with Rama so openly, (he always assumed the slave position in the presence of Rama), he would have to face a lot of music in the absence of Rama. Lakshmana, also conveniently got rid of his wife, by leaving her behind and asking her to sleep his sleep as well. So his wife slept all day and night, for the fourteen years of Aranyavasam(living in the forests).
So, Rama, Sita and Lakshmana, packed their bags and without even bidding farewell to Dasaratah, just left the city.
As the three leave Ayodhya, Valmiki described how the citizens of the city were full of sorrow. Dasaratha died of grief, and Bharatha came home from his uncle’s kingdom, to perform the last rites, and according to Valmiki, remonstrated with his mother Kaikeyi, for causing much grief to his father. He then followed the path of Rama into the forest and on meeting Rama at Citrakuta, gave back the kingdom to Rama.
Rama preached again.
He preached how taxes should be collected efficiently, how public expenditure should be curtailed, how to keep the brahmins happy, how having a large army helps in augmenting income, the whole lot of preaching.
Bharata must have been bored with all that bitter bile from Rama.
Anyway that done Rama accepted the transfer of kingship and appointed Bharata to rule as his regent for the next fourteen years, that is, during his exile. So, Rama got to be the king after all, albeit with the interval of fourteen years. He gave his padukalu(shoes) as his representative, to be placed on the throne in his place, during the rule of the regent.
Since feet are supposed to be the lowly part of the human body, and padukalu adorns feet, this act showed the arrogance of Rama regarding the citizens or the subservience of the citizens/Bharata to Rama.
A small detour, I consider, the conclusions, of arrogance or subservience, more obnoxious than I tasting my semen! .
Anyway, now Rama went off into proper exile.
During exile, the three of them traveled in the forests and finally settled down at Janasthana, where Laxmana with the approval and prodding of Rama, cut off the nose and ears of Surpanaka, the regent of that region, for having proposed marriage with him.
Surpanaka’s brother, Ravana abducted Sita and Rama wandered in search of Sita.
Along the way, the brothers Rama and Lakshmana, made political alliances with Sugriva, after killing his brother Vali. Rama also gained a Bhakta (a devotee) called Hanuman.
With an army of monkeys, Rama invaded Lanka, the Capital of Ravana, defeated him and released Sita.
With the pretext that Sita had stayed with another man during her confinement in Lanka, Rama asked Sita to under go a trial by fire. After she does that, all three of them got back to Kosala, to rule it.
After a while Rama, because a washerman had cast doubt on the purity of Sita, since she stayed for a while in the house of Ravana at Lanka as captive, he sends a pregnant Sita to forests full of wild animals.
Valmiki rescued her and she gave birth to twins who are finally united with the father. At this point, Sita felt the slights of her life and unable to bear the slights, asked the mother earth to swallow her.
The mother earth obliged! .
This is Valmiki’s Ramayana. Concise. In the actual poem, it is lots and lots of verbosity. If you think I am bull shitting too much, you should read Valmiki’s unedited Ramayana. It is words, words and words. Every time he introduces a person, he describes even the private parts.
3. Rama summons me:
Part 1. Birth of Rama
Ok, initially the protagonist, i.e. Rama used to visit me. Before I can be nice and proper and ask him to take a seat, he would just pull a chair and sit. Then he would ask me to sit down.
Rama is a pretty inconsiderate and pushy guy. He has to get what he wants, otherwise he will throw a tantrum, sulk, be nasty, all the regular stuff of that nature.
The first time he visited me, he never wasted much time for pleasantries. He came direct to the point. No beating round the bush for him. He just said, “sit down, and be happy I am not asking you to stand.
I am the great emperor, king of Ayodhya, son of Dasaratha, one who is liked and admired by all, progenitor of the clan of Surya, incarnation of Vishnu, the radiant one, Sri Rama”.
I quickly put in a word. “You are the husband of Sita as well right”. Rama replied, “Yep that’s right, but listen while I talk, don’t interrupt.
I summoned you into my presence to present a correct picture of my life. Valmiki has botched the job. I am proud of myself except for a few unjustifiable acts in the end, but Valmiki instead of presenting the truth, tried to glorify me, as per his standards, and there it is.
My story is full of inconsistencies. The whole Ramayana is irrational. Anyway, I have chosen you because you seem to be deeply interested in my story, and you have a critical mind, a mind that would make you taste your own semen to check if it is sweet or salty.”
Just a second Rama, “I am in my house in my lounge chair, and you have just taken a seat in front of me. You summoned me?!.”
“Well, you see I entered your conscience, and for you it is like not moving anywhere, but you can only see and converse with me. As long as you are in my presence, you can’t think of anything else. As and when I find leisure, and want you in my presence I will summon you. You got the hang of it now.”
I replied, “Yes, I get the picture. Anyway, you seem to be a pretty powerful force. It is kind of hard, to resist you. I see you are invisible to everybody else. OK, you have set the rules. I will play by it, but it is not such a pleasant experience! , so please don’t it to me for fun.”
Hmm, I told you he is pretty inconsiderate, never even acknowledged my request. He just carried on. From that day, God damm it, I was their nice little brown slave. They do what ever they want, and I just take it, can’t even complain.
Rama started off by saying, “if I was given another chance to live, I would live it differently. “
What a drag, Rama must be really sorry for himself, poor guy.
Rama continued saying, alas, “I am not even eligible for a rebirth. I am god you see. I play the role and have a life whenever the super god wishes it. I mean the author wishes it. By the way you humans are supposed to be shivering, either with joy or fear on seeing god, how come you are not shivering? .“
“Well, Rama, I have a rational mind, and don’t believe the mumbo jumbo of religion, and please don’t mind, I don’t believe you are god. Anyway, go on with whatever you are telling me.”
Rama continued saying, “Well, they all said lies, even about my birth. I came back to my god position and Rishyasringa comes rushing to me and embraces me, saying that he is my donor father, and I made him real proud.
How does a man feel, if all his life he is told that he is the son of so and so, and finally the donor rushes to him, and tells him his so and so father is impotent, and he is the one who stood in the so and so’s place.
It makes him feel shitty, right. I was down in the dumps for quite a while, but anyway I recovered from it, to discharge my godly functions, and as time went by more and more revelations are made. I am still proud of my life as Sri Rama, but truth should replace falsehood. “
Hmm, so I am right about payasam after all. This guy Rishyasringa must have been a virile guy if he produced bowls full of payasam!!!.
“Anyway, Rama, I am sorry it all happened so sudden for you, and yes it is better to know the truth than live with falsehood. Now that you know the whole story inside out, mind if you tell it to me. I am curious. I always figured there is something fishy about that payasam stuff, but shut my mouth because of the drubbing I got. Now it’s getting interesting, go on Rama, what’s the scoop about your birth.”
Rama continued saying, “Well it is like this. You know that Ayodhya is the capital of the Kosala kingdom, at the time of my birth and for a long time to come, and that my father, Dasaratha was the king. He married my mother Kausalya. She is a pretty nice lady. Got married, lived by the rules and slightly ambitious. Just right on all counts. Never hurt anybody, never argued for rights. I guess never had a concept of rights, not like the present day women. Even I am scared of them, the way they go about.
At the time of my birth, our society was different from what you people picture it to be.
Well, for one, during sacrifices, we slaughtered the sacrificial animal, and usually had a feast of it. It’s all in the Veda’s, you must be aware about it. It was not a big deal to kill. You see people are pretty fertile, and we never had this sanctity of life, even human life.
It was also generally believed, that man sows the seed with his semen, and woman is the field. The seed takes root and a baby is made, just as a crop is grown.
It looks like now you humans have finally proved that woman contributes half in making babies.
I say that’s a damaging thing for you people to find out and say it out loud.
See, what happens if you slip out of my control. Such things damage the authority of the man, even if it is found out to be so, it should be kept secret.
Anyway, given that conception is understood as such, it is also assumed that it is the fault of the Kshetra (field), but not the seed if children don’t happen. It looks like after a couple of years of marriage my father thought that my mom is unable to produce any kids, so he went about the task of finding another woman to try his luck for the second time.
This time it’s my stepmother Sumitra, sort of a limp noodle. She is the second wife and has to take what is left of her husband after my mom.
By this time my father, I still think of only Dasaratha as my father, got tired of all this trying stuff. Well, after all women are not that beautiful sex anyway. I myself am personally not that much interested in woman, but hey it’s the duty of a man to have kids, and you need a woman, to make babies. No other way. I guess he became a limp noodle after this trying, until, it seems, he met Kaikeyi.
You know Kamba, another writer of my story, he brought this fact out, though Valmiki thought it is a shame to say any such thing about my father. I guess in Valmiki's view, even at the age of hundred a man should be going strong and having babies, don’t know what he thinks.
But you see when my father finally met Kaikeyi, he thought he could have kids with her, because even her sight aroused him. But the problem is he was old by then and she was very young. Kaikeyi’s father didn’t like this proposal. You see, he might be marrying his daughter to an old man, though he might be a king, and what’s her life going to be! . Married as a third wife to an old man and no kids. Dasartha’s first two wives didn’t have kids. Her father seemed to be a smart guy. He guessed the reasons right. Probably he acquired some native knowledge.
The natives were much smarter than us. We were immigrants, many generations back. But we held on to our faiths, and never integrated with the natives. So, however many generations passed we still considered ourselves as immigrants.
Though the natives were much smarter, they suffered from some inane defects. They are used to settled life, and with that assurance of food through agriculture, they became gluttonous. Also, since they had stored up wealth, and the fear of losing that wealth entered their minds, and that fear made them open for, negotiations.
We were raiders. Compared to the wealth of the natives we had nothing. Can a robber be ever richer than the robbed? A robber can at best take away the stored wealth, and live off it, thus dwindling it. But the robbed knows how to create wealth, only then could the wealth be created in the first place for the robber to rob.
OK, enough of robbers, but yes the natives are much smarter, but they don’t have that extra edge to fight. They had too much to lose.
Whom ever we captured we made them slaves and put them to work. That’s what slaves are meant for anyway, well I guess unless you want to make a meal of them. So, our system is to perpetuate this “somebody works for you” thing.
Anyway, kaikeyi’s father is a smart man thanks to his contact with the natives. By the way, don’t confuse natives with anybody else, they are the rakshasas, that valmiki wrote about in his book.
To get on with the story, Kaikeyi’s father threw a spanner into the marriage negotiations. Dasaratha firmly believed that she is the one for him. You kind of feel it sometimes, sixth sense I guess.
So, Dasaratha promised Kaikeyi’s father whatever he wanted. Well, it seems her father replied that he is not selling his daughter, but his main concern is, if she doesn’t have kids, what’s going to happen to her. My father replied, if he has a chance of kids, his only chance is Kaikeyi, so the argument went. Finally the compromise was if Kaikeyi has a son he would be declared the heir to the kingdom. Dasartha said yes, because he firmly believed that his other wives are not going to have kids. So, that was the promise and truce of my dad’s third marriage.
My mother, Kausalya, told me that she was hurt real bad with that promise, because it sort of eroded her authority and all that. But anyway that’s what happened.
Though I felt threatened with my fathers promise, I have to acknowledge that my second step-mom, Kaikeyi was a grand woman. She not only was very energetic, and beautiful and all that, she even went to the raids along with my father.
It seems in one such raid she saved his life and he gave another promise that she can ask whatever she wants, and being a smart woman, she replied that she will ask when she needs.
Its pretty stupid on the part of my father to make such a promise. You always have to know what you are going to lose. So, with this promise my father put himself in the clutches of Kaikeyi. That’s how I felt and my mother felt. You see everybody was conspiring to deprive me of my kingship, and I am destined to be the greatest ruler on this earth.
Ok this went on for a while and still no kids. So our kula guru, the guy who sort of manages all our affairs and puts us in place if we try to slip out of it, by simply saying that his is the gods word, decided to intervene.
Well, if I am the god, why do I need this interpreter? Don’t know. But still there it is, and my father used to live in great fear of displeasing this guy who went about by the name Vashista, and his kith and kin, called brahmins, who hid behind his skirts whenever they are in danger.
So, Vashista, goaded my father into calling the council of ministers and putting his personal problem for public discussion. Well, the argument went that he being a king, he is not supposed to have any personal life.
Even, if he fucks its public news. See, what an enormous pressure he works under.
Gross.
The way we used to function then. All for the sake of kingship and the hope that guys of our seed will continue ruling the kingdom.
Hmm, and this Rishyasringa jumps on me as soon as I attain the God status and says he is my donor father and I made him real proud. What a world. Anyway, Vashista forced Dasaratha to make it public.
This guy Sumantra, sort of the chief minister, I remember, is quite a gentleman. Never even thought of hurting the other person. So, he came up with this theory. Who so ever might sow the seed, the crop belongs to the guy who owns the field, right. So, without feeling bad, my father can put a different seed, in the field (his wives) and claim ownership of the crop, that is, we kids.
No emotions here. We were definitely duty babies. I guess that’s the reason we were so obsessed with duty.
Whose seed shall Dasaratha put in? . Not any tom, dick or harry. They are after all, queens and he, the king. So, again Sumantra came up with the right person.
It seems there was a bloke called Vibhandaka, who went off down south into the Vindhya’s and learnt water management techniques from the natives. The natives in that region, by that time have harnessed the waterpower and are living quite well.
Near by there was a kingdom called Anga, which is ruled by a guy called Romapada, probably because he had hair on his feet. This king under diktat’s of his own kula guru, we kings are never free of them, performed so many yagna’s and used up so much wood that rains failed.
You people now know how important a forest is for the balance in nature, but we did not have such understanding then.
The rains failed for such a long time that there was drought. People are fleeing from his kingdom. He performed so many yagna’s OK, but he has to have people to rule over, right.
So, he got alarmed, and pat came in his kula guru, advisor, minister and his master, all rolled into one, and told him that this bloke Vibhandaka, had sired a son, by the name Rishyasringa, whom he kept with himself and raised, after shooing away Rishyasringa’s mother.
What a traumatic childhood this Rishyasringa must have had. Anyway this son is pretty well versed with the water management techniques, and he could restore the balance in Anga.
But if he put it that straight, it looks so mundane, nothing awe inspiring, so a lot of mumbo jumbo went into the proposal to sufficiently impress everybody concerned.
It is also true that this Vibhandaka is a brahmin and a relative of this kula guru. He could make his relative a hero, thus making him the king, and he can restore the ecological balance in Anga, two birds at one shot.
But the problem is this Rishyasringa had no incentive to move out of his cozy place in the fertile Vindhya’s. Anga is dry and bankrupt. Then they all put their heads together and found an incentive.
This Rishyasringa, my donor father, never got a chance to meet any female except animals, and he is about twenty years old. You can imagine how pent up he must be, poor guy.
His father, this Vibhandaka, distrusted the natives. So, Rishyasringa did not have any interaction with natives/rakshasas. Since the entire region is populated by rakshasas, Rishyasringa was denied all human contact, except with his father.
Told you, however much we might be indebted to the natives we still consider ourselves immigrants and superior, or else whom shall we put to work?
So, the advice was, to send a nice damsel and Rishyasringa will have incentive in Anga. Cool huh.
Consequently Rishyasringa was bought, and married off to Romapada’s daughter Santa.
But the twist in the tale is that Santa is not the one who went off to the Vindhya’s to entice Rishyasringa, but it was a beautiful girl called Vaishali. This lady later came to me when I am God and told me her role in my birthing.
It seems having tasted the pleasures of love with this Vaishali for the first time, and she is so sweet, that Rishyasringa couldn’t get over her.
Well, there is another story doing the rounds, that Romapada, sired this Vaishali as well, through his private prostitute, but never acknowledged the parentage.
It seems that Romapada did not want this Rishyasringa to be the next king. Rishyasringa would be the king if he married Santa, since Santa is the daughter of the queen, and officially the only child of Romapada.
I mean a queen is similar to a private prostitute, but hey she is the one with the right connections and lineage. So, he offered a deal in secret to the mother of Vaishali, that if Vaishali goes off to the forest and brings in Rishyasringa, he will acknowledge the parentage of Vaishali, and marry Rishyasringa with Vaishali, since anyway by that time they both would be in love with each other. Even if he acknowledges the parentage, Vaishali can only be a princess, but not heir to the throne.
If this, side plot works, then his kula guru will be deprived of making his relative, that is Rishyasringa, the king. Romapada thought he was being so smart.
But hey, you can’t really win over these kula gurus. They have spies all over and the kula guru got to know of this plot to outwit him. So, he kept quite until Rishyasringa was bought in, and under the pretext that his father, this Vibhandaka, will be angry and take back his son, forced the king to make a declaration that Rishyasringa is the king of Anga, and thus forced this Romapada, to offer Santa not Vaishali, the daughter of the queen, in marriage to Rishyasringa. Now at least this Romapada could still be regent as the father in law of the would be king.
You got the picture.
See the machinations of this caste of kula gurus to achieve their objective! I never held a high opinion of them. Even my father in law never had a high opinion of them. It’s only my father Dasaratha who was shivering in awe of his kula guru. They must have scared him real bad when he was young.
Check this version about Rishyasringa, in the other epic Mahabharatha if you want confirmation. Its my story, and it ended up in Mahabharatha because valmiki never had guts to say the truth and nothing but the truth. Valmiki is a fudgy kind. Sorts of tells you and not tell you, he makes an art of it. I told you he botched the job of telling my story.
Ok, with all these politics, the two young lovey dovey couple, Vaishali and Rishyasringa, didn’t get to be married. To tell you my opinion, this guy Rishyasringa is a very decent sort. Though he could never get over Vaishali, he married Santa to oblige his clan of brahmins. What more could you expect from a man? Anyway, can you fault him if he did not stay strictly loyal to Santa but took his pleasures occasionally from Vaishali? After all they both are half-sisters.
So, Vaishali told me that even though she couldn’t marry Rishyasringa, she came to exercise enormous influence on the future king.
Hmm, where was I when I left on this side story of Rishyasringa.
Ok, there it is.
So Sumantra advised Dasartha to get Rishyasringa to Kosala, so that he can impregnate the queens. Look at his credentials, he is a Brahmin, a future king, a virile person, an excellent godfather, very handsome guy, and through him my father could make Anga a friendly neighbour.
Rishyasringa would never wage a war against his son. He will have the knowledge that he is the donor father of me.
Rishyasringa, sprung it on me real sudden though.
See the benefits! . So Rishyasringa was decided as one best suited for the job.
Dasaratha got convinced and with the blessing from Vashista his Kula Guru, who further strengthened this idea, that God told him so mumbo jumbo, sent a messenger post haste to Anga.
Well, it seems this messenger on reaching Anga, made some discreet enquiries on how to influence Rishyasringa in making him agree to come to Kosala, and came up with an idea.
You just can’t expect a man, being all honky dory and pleased to go and make babies for another man, while leaving his affairs. In those days it took almost a year to make babies. Also we did not know like you people do know, where you make the babies in what is it called, ha, a test tube and put it in the womb. Man and woman have to be physically present, and they have to do it the hard way. No, easy way around. So, Rishyasringa had to go to Kosala. If the three queens come to Anga, how the hell would Dasaratha know that Rishyasringa had not delegated the job to a lesser mortal?
OK, so this is the idea the messenger came up with. This Rishyasringa, can last without his wife at his side but he can’t last with out Vaishali. I told you she exerted an enormous influence on him.
So, this messenger, using his own discretionary powers went to the quarters of Vaishali and sought a private audience. He explained to her how she could be instrumental in this event of cosmic significance, that is my birth, and further offered her an incentive that if she helps, then she will gain so much good merit, that Vashista offered her the permanent post of being a divine prostitute.
These guys, they never learn. They go on and on about the heaven and god, and that they have the power to dispense good merit and bad karma, and how they are in direct communion with the God. Well, I am God, and nobody even bothers to listen to me. I have to forcibly summon guys like you to tell my story, and you say “don’t mind but I don’t believe you are God”. How, am I supposed to feel, huh?. Very bad, very bad.
Ok Vaishali is not such a dumb idiot as girls are made out to be. She not only has some brains, and with her early experience with Romapada, got pretty worldly wise I guess.
So, this is what she told, when she met me here in my God state.
“I had such a good laugh, at the messengers bluff. Hmm so even in heaven I will be a prostitute, no better. Ok no deal. Don’t want to be a prostitute for all eternity especially to serve abhorable guys like Vashista. Can’t stand him for a second though. But you know what Mr. Messenger, know all and do all, gold makes me heaven right here, in this life. Got the point! .
Now I have to place a price on Rishyasringa’s seed. Its pretty valuable, so get me a million varaha’s in gold, not cheating currency. I will further sweeten the deal. I will not only follow Rishyasringa to Kosala after him, I will assist him by being there and arousing him when he has to put his seed in old women like Kausalya, your mother. That was my role in your birth Rama. Ain’t I very important! ”.
That’s what she told, word to word. Smart woman. Actions speak for words. I guess it all happened as she planned and there we are, four instead of three, Sumitra having twins, and joy o joy we are all boys.
It seems all the citizens of Kosala were over whelmed with joy with our birth. I can’t imagine myself getting overjoyed if some other guy has kids, whether that guy is my king or not. By the way, one thing I like about you people is that, even in these days you have a craving for a king, a master, or a superior being. I guess it’s the legacy of my story by Valmiki. Thick heads, can’t get rid of one thing, once it is implanted there.
I was named Rama, no Sri, Gri initially. You know what my name means. I am real proud of it, so don’t forget it OK.
It seems many, many generations back before we immigrated to Bharat and formed kingdoms, in our culture, sun is called ra and mother is called ma. So, you see, it’s real easy, mother of sun or originator of the clan of sun. See, they knew at my birth that I would be great. Will start my own clan and kingdoms and be famous! .
I am great, you know that, don’t you.”
“Yes I know Rama, but your talking like that makes you sound like a preening, inconsiderate cock OK! . So, continue nicely, please.”
Rama continued saying, “Well, my other brothers are called Lakshmana, Shatruguna, and Bharat. I am not too sure what my brother’s names mean. Bit dense there. Never gave it much thought. If I have to make a wild guess, I think Lakshamana, is named in the hope that he is equivalent to one hundred thousand men, and Shatruguna is named in the hope that he is the embodiment of all good qualities and Bharat must have been named in the hope that he will rule over Bharat. There you have my guesses.”
Rama paused a while and said, “well that is the story of my birth. It’s time you return. I have other work to do.” He left me, just like that, wroom, zoom, hushphatak.
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I then realized my mother was yelling at me, “You larva of frog, you are sleeping with eyes open in broad daylight. You will get sick if you continue like this. Wake up now.” Hmm. So it is true that I was summoned by god! . Cool. Though I did not like the experience, I thought I was someone very special. It doesn’t happen to everyone!.
Ok, I will not bore you with events in my mundane life, and other personal stuff. Need to get over this real quick so that they will all leave me pretty soon. So, I will just keep continuing with the story as they tell me.
4. Sita summons me:
Part 1: Birth and marriage
Next in line to summon me or visit, as you wish, is Sita. She is not a bad lady at all. This Sita is all nice and traditional, very considerate and all that. But permit me to let you in a secret. She asked me to keep it a secret. But there is my promise to Valmiki that I will write the entire truth, so, I am just putting in my impressions not word to word.
She has hate, terrible hate, in her. Such hate which is only possible in an impotent person. In a person who can’t resist, and has to take whatever happens, and consequently has no sense of control. You get the picture.
I guess even she didn’t realize the extent of her hate.
She comes out as a person who accepts fate and as one filled with love and responsibility. Guess she took recompense in such thoughts. But right under her veneer there it is, the disappointment with life, and the rage at lose of control and resentment at everybody else deciding her life, all rolled into real hate, such hate that is only possible in a slave.
Well, after all a slave is one who, has no right of decision making in matters which effect him/her. It’s no good, to make people suffer like that. It’s not good for the system. Always remember what goes around comes around.
Anyway poor lady, my sympathies are entirely with her. Actually I fear her, for the simple reason, that if she realized her hate and sought vengeance what havoc it would cause. God! A real scary thought. Wonder, why she put up with all that.
Anyway even her opening line is the same as every other character of Ramayana, being “if I have to live my life again, I would live it differently”. I guess none of them are happy with their lives. I also think it’s the system. See, its so duty minded, and false. The falsity is that, we will be benefited, by being in the system, and not questioning it. But the fact is we are not benefited and never will be.
Its all honky dory to recognize what our duties are, but before you decide, do a critical examination and decide what’s good for you, and then frame your very own frame work of ethics.
We don’t do any critical examination, and by being dutiful to the system spun out by others, we get nothing. Actually we keep losing. Tell me, who would not take advantage, if you want to be such a lamb? .
So, we seek salvation in imagination, either by trying to convince ourselves that this is what is happiness or think of ourselves as martyrs and seek some recompense in heaven, which anyway exists only in our minds.
How many of you readers, can confidently say, that you will never repeat that drag line, “If I have to live my life again I would live it differently”.
I guess almost none.
It’s because we are still stuck in the out dated model of Ramayana. At least get back your right of decision making instead of surrendering to the system of ethics spun out by Ramayana and Valmiki, or for that matter, any other system, and I promise you, there will be salvation in this life, right now.
We are being stupid, and thick headed.
Thinking all this, makes it double hard for me to listen when I am summoned. Anyway I am getting it all out now.
Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. I am digressing from the story told to me by Sita. OK enough of my impressions for now. Getting on with the narration this is what Sita told when she summoned me to her presence.
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“I am Sita daughter of King Janaka, ruler of Videha, with Mithila as its capital. Valmiki made a bad job of writing Ramayana, because he always surrendered truth to his own idea of what is nice and proper. So, out of his pen came bull. He wrote that I was found in a box buried deep in soil.
Can any sane person ever believe that?.
No, I had a pretty normal birth. I was born to a native couple, the earth couple, probably owners of that land before Janaka stepped in to take over their land. I have not much memory of my birth, but I know I am a native, or a rakshasa, if you argue. Even though I have attained this Goddess status, the super God never gave me memory of it all. But I know of the earth and of native stock.
Don’t know why Janaka wanted to adopt me. Probably because he was guilt ridden about usurping the land of my natural parents, or he genuinely liked me, or maybe he wanted my adoption as a herald of the policy of reconciliation with the natives, or may be as a herald of the revolt with his own kinsmen. I don’t know.
One ever-pervading thing that I had to face in my traumatic childhood was discrimination. See, I was a native and worse a girl. It all made my childhood very traumatic. It’s always the injunctions that I shouldn’t do that, I shouldn’t do this. Even if I played around with the Shiva Dhanush, there was such a big hue and cry.
Well, I was a high-spirited, healthy normal girl. But it’s the system, it can break anybody and everybody. You know a vast majority of us do things because we are expected to do them. A system is nothing but a series of expectations, in the form of ethics, and once we enter a system, there goes everything. You surrender to it and you just role-play.
Janaka could never get out of the system he was in. But he was certainly a rebel, though a weak rebel, without faith in his own convictions. That’s the reason he could never break away, its one step forward and one step backward. Or else, why would he marry me off at such a young age? . Basically it’s sacrificing me at the altar of his system and politics.
Cruel.
Actually it makes me shudder with revulsion at myself that I played a part in perpetuating this system of ethics.
Let me tell you a small secret.
By all we Gods and cursed Gods coming down in droves to enact this Ramayana, for you to keep enacting for thousands of years to come, we just cemented the authority of the male. Period. Nothing else. Nothing more.
The whole Ramayana is an illustration of a slave system. Wife is a slave of husband, husband is a slave of his father, mind you not mother, father is `the slave of the system of ethics, which they call dharma. I guess to make it sound like it’s the right thing.
The worst hit are the women. I was the responsibility of my father until I got married and then the responsibility of my husband, and later if I survive him the responsibility of my son.
Nice, I am never responsible for myself.
Always a slave, can never even conceive of an escape.
You know one funny thing. In the later days, drawing from this stupid system of ethics, they even conceived such absurd situations, as in stories compiled in kathasaritsagara, that in times of severe drought, a husband can kill a wife and make a meal of her to survive. Well to ease the pain, the husband does it only in the case of extremity, and the wife is to submit herself dutifully to the knife. Gosh! It’s just …, words fail me.
I am one such slave, and this Valmiki goes about writing that I was ecstatic at the opportunity of being one. Make him a slave and see how he feels. Actually he is one too.
The masters are slaves to the system so that it may be perpetuated. You do understand that in any slave system, all participants are slaves and none is and never will be free, don’t you.
Everybody in Ramayana’s setup is a slave, surrendering his or her individuality to something or someone. Nobody escapes.
Everybody is told that they should be happy and content in their role of a slave. Come on, if one is happy one is happy, why tell them. Driving it in that there is no escape! .
You know what really bothers me, we women, though we don’t even have a right to protest, at least are left with our human dignity.
We are recognized as humans! .
But my kinsmen, the rakshasas, captured humans turned into slaves, are not even given that dignity. They are not recognized as humans.
If they dehumanize the Rakshasas, then it’s easy to think of all those hordes as worse than life forms, something, which doesn’t feel pain and suffering, which can take anything, etc. This dehumanization prevents a sense of shame, or a sense of pity to enter into the minds of the later day master’s of this slave system.
You know what the goddamn Ram Rajya is?.
It’s a police state, a dictatorship, worse a colony of slaves. Did I drive it in?.
It’s a police state to such an extent that there are spies roaming around to find out what the citizens talk at midnight.
The state surrounds you in its power and makes you impotent. It makes me swoon with amazement when you people now want a Ram Rajya.
I am amazed at the complete conditioning done to you people.
You can’t even imagine there will be an alternative.
Ravana did teach me something during my stay at Lanka.
If Ram Rajya is something that you can’t get out of your consciousness, then have a state, which is the opposite of Ram Rajya in every manner, and I promise, you will have a better state.
It’s not about having an enlightened ruler, if you are free, then there is no ruler.
You have to live my life of suffering to have such views. But anyway, it really surprises me that you people still perpetuate this slavery, and countless women still take me as their role model.
Let me tell you another secret. You know why this slavery continues? . It continues because all you slaves are God damn afraid.
You have fear in your hearts.
You are told that you have so much to lose, and even if you are a slave that you will be worse off by not being a slave.
You are all conditioned right from childhood to place a higher value on the present tidbits that are thrown your way, than the diamonds you might collect if you are out of your slavery.
You fear, and you stay.
Got it.”
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Lady, you have my fullest sympathies, and you are a person who suffered, but your views are extreme and full of assumptions. Please, its also pretty heavy stuff, makes me very worried, please can you get on with your story. That’s what I am summoned here for right. Please don’t take offense but just stick to your story.
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Sita said, “You see, when I summoned you I want to get the entire story right. Valmiki never bothered to put my feelings down, but always assumed that I am ecstatic with the system, as if my sole happiness lies in doing exactly as commanded.
You see I was the slave.
A slave’s feeling is only read through the feelings of the master. A master decides whats good for me. But I am an individual and I want to correct the fact that I am happy only when Rama is happy, or Janaka is happy. So, be patient with me.
Anyway to continue, I had a traumatic childhood, but it was nothing compared to my tribulations after marriage, I am not talking about the life in the forest. Its me being turned into a slave, stripped of all my rights, and turned into a door mat with marriage.
I blame it all on my Janaka, though.
He knew what his system was, and he knew what the native system was. He could have used his judgement, especially when he is marrying me off so young. At an age when I don’t know what is good or bad for me.
Why sacrifice me?.
Was Janaka afraid of angering the elite of his system? .
I can never know. I asked him after he got back to his God state. But he would never talk. I think that he was so depressed with his failure that speech left him.
Well, all these memories are making me too agitated. You go back now. I will summon you again. I do want to speak my mind out though. It will be such a relief. I just don’t think Valmiki botched the job of writing my story, I think he is a liar.”
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Well, when Sita left my conscious I was a bit numb. It is the numbness that you feel after watching a cruel, senseless act. Had the same feeling. I just couldn’t get over it for a while. It’s the magnitude of the lie perpetuated by Ramayana, that all slaves are happy doppy in their slave positions that got me all hot and bothered.
Told you such heavy stuff makes me worried. But in the end you get on with your life as best as you can, and I felt dread at being summoned again. I don’t want to feel that heaviness. But I guess there is no escape from truth. It’s better to face it and get over it.
5. Rama summons me:
Part 2: Eduation, Tataki, Ahalya, and marriage.
Well, the next time, I was summoned by, Rama. Its like a serial. Goes on with out a break in the thread of the story. Well, I am glad its that way. It will be easy for me to present it as well.
After listening to Sita I was a bit hostile to this guy, because I know this guy finally married Sita, and he is the one she is complaining against. I guess he sensed my hostility. Told you before that this guy has to have what he wants. Otherwise, he throws in the tantrums and stuff. So, he told me not to be hostile with him. I told him how I could be so, after listening to Sita, and after knowing how she suffered. He just merely smiled and said that I have to listen to his account of childhood before I become hostile towards him and he continued his narration.
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Rama said, “You see, after all ours is a male dominated society. Nobody can take away your rights unless you surrender them. If you don’t surrender, the worst that the usurper can do is kill you. That’s all right. Once you surrender your ability to express, your body is of no use anyway.
All the slaves surrender because they see a better life than the alternative, whatever that might be.
That’s the basis of a slave system. Fear of loss through misplaced values.
From this God state I tell you that nothing is more valuable than your right to be free. But there it is, we are all part of the system. I am at an advantage in that system, not because a man is physically stronger logic, but simply because Valmiki is a male.
You know what is the most powerful force on this earth.
Faith! .
So, by framing a system of ethics, which made it immoral for women to be better than men, everybody believed it. Faith, gives you righteousness, gives enormous moral strength, and at the same time if you believe you are immoral, can sap away all your strength. Faith amputates thought and destroys life.
Got my point.
See, one common factor in all slaves is obedience, through faith. You believe and you are dead! . You have surrendered your freedom to think.
But do you think I was not a slave?. I am a slave, yes I am a slave, and I am not just a slave of Dharma, worse I am a slave of ambition. A slave to the inordinate desire to look nice and proper, to the desire to play by the rules of my system, last of all I am a slave to duties and responsibilities, and I am a slave to the whole system.
All because I had blind faith in the system as taught to me.
I would get so upset if anybody doesn’t follow the system that I would even kill, even though I knew that by following the system the person is at an utter disadvantage.
You see I have blind faith to the system.
I killed a Chandala, for trying to be a Rishi, though I know being Chandala is very disadvantageous, and he by trying to be a Rishi, is only trying to uplift himself through his own endeavors.
For such blind obedience what did I finally get out of it?.
Nothing, zip, zero, zilch.
Its not good, such faith or obedience. One should be free, at least to pursue their happiness and better their lives. There it is, but still I am proud of myself.
The rakshasas were much better off than us in terms of material wealth, but they lost in war. Don’t know what’s the reason, may be its superior weapons, but we got the better of them in war. So, ours is hailed as a superior system and we perpetuated it. We never took the chance of examining it critically in all its aspects.
So, you are right and Sita is right, what we perpetuated is a slave system. But I still think it is better than no system.”
On hearing this I interrupted Rama and said, “But Rama how can you say that?. You are talking like a slave of the system.
You haven’t ever lived in a state where there is no system, so, just as you said, you are perpetuating this slavery through fear and misplaced values.
By no system, I mean a state where no one set of ethics are promoted, but one is free to think, and can pick and choose their own set.
You have never been in it, but that is nirvana Rama”.
Rama said, “Listen, I told you I am a slave. Don’t keep arguing with me.
I keep telling that I am slave because this is not the system that I choose to live in, it was imposed on me, and I had given it my blind obedience. Don’t know why, may be because of my early cultural grooming. But I still believe I am happy. May be they convinced me so much, that I can’t get out of it even in this God state.
You see the advantage, don’t you? . A system based on faith gives stability, no change, no improvement.
Stand still.
Anyway, the reason I am summoning you is to put my story right. Not to comment on the values and system of our times and how we perpetuated it into your lives.
So coming back to my narration of my story,
In my childhood I remember being sent off at a very early age to get my schooling. It’s Visvamitra who took us away, Lakshmana and me. I wonder why he did not take the other two? .
Later in this God state I was told the main reason being that Kaikeyi in her belief that Bharata is to be made king, refused to send him away. Instead she sent him to her parent’s house to be coached in the arts of ruling a kingdom.
Poor guy Bharata never got to be the king though.
Sumitra didn’t want to let go of her younger son.
My mother, being a nice and proper lady that she is, unable to ask what’s going to be the future of her son, if he is deprived of his privilege to kingship, decided to let me have some breathing space while she plotted and schemed to make me king.
You know what’s so pathetic about my mother. She even surrendered her right to protest, just like all slaves in our system.
What’s she afraid of anyway?.
If its her right to make her son the king, she could have demanded it. Instead, why all these, behind the curtain machinations? .
Is she afraid of hurting my father?. Well, he better be responsible for his actions and words. If I have a birthright as the eldest son to be the king, how can he gift away something, which is not his, however much Kaikeyi might be his favorite consort.
You know my mother was such a clinging, spiritless woman that she sort of turned me away from women. They no longer appeared to be equal companions to me. I looked at them only as necessary companions.
You hold up a mirror to your face and what you don’t see there but desire makes up your friends face. You get what I mean. A friend is your equal, but embodiment of all that you lack, but desire.
What joy if I could have found a woman to share my life as my friend. But looking at my mother, seeing her so powerless, it would have killed me to accept women as my equal, let alone a woman being my friend. I don’t want to be so powerless. Period.
My mother sort of tried to own me by being my inferior, not my equal. She placed me above her interests and not only did she make herself indispensable to me, with the indebtedness it generated in me, she put on the slave collar on me.
Got what I mean.
Mothers shouldn’t be like that. It’s sick.
They are themselves first and foremost, and they choose to be a wife or a mother next.
Well let me tell you a small secret. You know what is the heaviest burden on a human soul? .
Its gratitude from a sense of indebtedness, it turns the beneficiary against the benefactor.
It’s a very negative thing. Never expect gratitude for your own good.
Ok, where am I?. Yes, when we are taken out to our education, right. Its just me and Lakshmana who were taken away by Visvamitra.
There is a story about this guy, Viswamitra. It seems he was born as a king and he got very upset at not being treated as an equal to a Brahmin.
Don’t go about thinking that he is the first to accept the equality of humans.
For him its just that he has to be the best, and the most elite. He just got upset because brahmins thought that they are the gods interpreters and thus the best and the most elite.
So, Viswamitra took up his cudgels against the brahmins.
It seems he learned all the Vedas and related, and finally got accepted as a king or brahmin.
Got permission for double role-playing.
You know what, imitation is the best form of flattery, and all the brahmins who finally accepted him as their equal must have had such a good laugh at his attempts to imitate them.
Anyway this double role-playing guy was my guru.
It was rumored at that time, and probably true, that the main reason why this Visvamitra took us away on this early cultural grooming is that he wanted to put a check to the growing influence of brahmins.
By the way you guys know this right?. That education is nothing but cultural programming/grooming, at least ours was.
Improving the skill set and stuff is all bull shit.
Anyway, about this brahmin influence, you see, Rishyasringa is now the ruler of Anga, and everybody except me knows that I am the product of his seed. My father lives in great fear at displeasing any brahmin. So, of the three major kingdoms of our clan, two have passed on to brahmins, the only other is Janaka’s, and this king Janaka, is half, half. I guess Sita told you, one step forward and one step backward. It seems by training me well, and keeping me in his control, he could check at least the growing influence of vashista’s clan. So, that’s the scoop about we two being picked up by this Visvamitra.
Whatever the reason, we were both taken away to a far off ashram, and trained. Its not just martial arts but as I told before, a lot of cultural and ethical stuff was rammed down our throats. We just had to swallow it all.
No doubt and no dissent.
By various stories, we were instructed to surrender ourselves to our father, not mother.
Mother, we are supposed to instruct and take care of. You see, she being a female, she cannot take care of herself. Even her own son has a superior judgement than she can ever have!.
Next we surrender ourselves to the teacher, to the dharma, as spelled out by the teacher and more of this surrendering stuff.
You know the one thing that really got into our heads is that one should not doubt, and one should be very reverential to the masters of the system.
The masters can never do anything wrong.
Hey, you still follow the same no doubt stuff, so it must a real good system.
You know what, reverence and blind faith are the two most admired qualities in a slave. It makes the job of the trainer very easy.
It was a good system and it is a necessary system, and I am not going to feel sorry that I went through that, just because you people now say I should be sorry for myself. Its just not staying at school, we are taken to various ashrams, and introduced to the inmates there as well.
Lots of picnics, and it is fun.
By the way you know what the ashrams are, don’t you? .”
“I answered that ashrams are places where the philosophers and scientists stayed and developed knowledge for the good of the society at large, like the modern day universities”.
Rama sounded surprised and said, “Huh, what universities?. What knowledge? . Ashrams are fucking detective outposts. You don’t know that?.
You never cease to amaze me! .
If all knowledge is in the Vedas, what knowledge did these inmates who went about with the title of Rishi gain. Vedas are not written, nor conceived in ashrams.
Actually Vedas were never written down. They are supposed to be memorized and passed on from generation to generation.
Its was so because we did not have any script. We never produced any written book remember. It’s not that Vedas are too sacred to be written down.
If we are with out script, what creation of knowledge happens. No writing, no accumulation of knowledge. Veda’s are borrowed knowledge. Sort of like a culture mark.
And what is this about acquiring the knowledge for the good of the society at large?.
The whole concern of everybody is to protect the dharma, which is to maintain the elite position of the brahmins and ourselves, for the sake of gods.
Society means just us, and everybody else is sort of an inanimate thing working for our comfort. If they are not working for our comfort, then they have no meaning for their lives and they are such wastrels that they have to be exterminated.
So what is this good of society thing. No such thing, we only work for perpetuating the dharma, and dharma keeps us in the elite position. Being in the elite position means no work, but lots of free food.
Anyway, ashrams are our detective outposts. The main information that they gathered is the time of the rains and harvests. That’s all they are concerned with.
Why?.
For us, to know when we should raid. You should rob when the granaries are full, or else what do you get?. Nothing. Also after harvest comes in the rakshasas are at their happiest mood. Its easy to capture them when their guards are down.
I guess these natives, that we keep referring to, as rakshasas, are such forgiving and tolerant people. Or else how could any body tolerate ashrams in their midst? . They occasionally made a demand for the rishis to withdraw, and if they did not listen just beat them up a bit. Nothing more.
Nothing like this extermination and enslaving that we do.
One has to be tough, to have that edge in a war. No, lovey, dovey, tolerant, pacifist soft noodle ever waged a war and won it.
It was during my picnics and travels and education that I came to know that there is a vast and very wealthy land down south and most of the Rakshasas have moved down south and have become very prosperous and that our clansmen are making exploratory raids and establishing ashrams up to Vindhyas.
You see we are like locusts.
That is our dharma.
We can never tolerate the alternative.
We do not contribute nor create. We do not have any impulse to create, not even in literature.
We devour. Then we move on to fresh pastures to devour afresh.
Over generations we have devoured from Sindh to Vindhyas. There is nothing here any more. Who ever survived our onslaught was turned into slaves, and which slave state ever produced anything or created anything. Even the slaves depleted over time and we are looking at fresh pastures.
Down vindhyas it is now.
Up in the hilly fortress of Tataki, north of videha, and near Himalayas is one other pocket which has escaped our clutches and is supposed to be very wealthy.
These rakshasas do know how to create wealth!.
You know how Tataki, created wealth. She and her sons took to mining. It looks like this Valmiki does not even understand mining. He keeps insisting that Tataki devoured earth. Stupid guy, no wonder he botched the job entrusted to him.
Well, it seems Tataki’s kingdom, or domain is rich in minerals and they extracted them, and it seems that’s money. That’s what facilitated trade, and they also traded. See, they mined money and through trade they made more money.
Their domain is tough to negotiate, so it’s hard for us to raid. More over they are very mobile. They have money, which is of great value, and it takes up so little volume. They could secret it away, even if we conducted a successful raid. So, my clan’s men finally decided raiding Tataki’s domain is not a paying proposition.
My guru, Viswamitra is a very clever man. He knew of the promise of my father to make Bharata the king after him, but its not promises, but power that speaks.
Power to beat the shit out of the other guy. Usually the perception of power does the job, very rarely are you asked to exhibit it.
If I have wealth and from that wealth, make an army, and my brother Bharata perceives it, he would come begging me to take my kingdom, and he being nice and proper, would actually beg me, not to make him king, because even if I made him king, I would be upset and he would live a life of dread, fearing when I would strike him. So, to be made King I should first acquire wealth
See, the devious mind of my guru.
This deviousness is not taught at school. The only drumming that you ever got is that as an elder brother, I know best. All my younger siblings, even if they are men are my slaves to do my bidding.
You see age has reverence. Even if I am older by a day, I am somehow divinely endowed to know what’s best for the day younger sibling. He doesn’t have a right to decide what’s best for him.
Likewise I am subordinate to my father.
You have to understand, it was made very clear and we believed it absolutely, that all authority passes in the male line, and a junior is always inferior to a senior.
The very purpose of this organization is to establish a rigid chain of command, like you have it in the military and like organizations in your days. With such a chain of command in place it is easy to establish an effective organization.
What does this organization deliver effectively?. It does nothing more than maintaining the dharma. The dharma is what the brahmin says it is, and they say dharma is to keep them in the elite position. So finally the brahmin has the grip at the very top.
Got the picture!! .
Given such a state of affairs, until now, the only struggle is who jockeys into the position to tell what is dharma. If the brahmin sits to say what is dharma, since it is obviously disadvantageous to the others, the other group builds up a case, or acquires sufficient power to displace these brahmins, for them to sit in the brahmins place to say what is dharma.
They give their very own interpretation, which would be advantageous to themselves.
You see, you are such faith full people, that countless generations have passed and none ever stood up and said, let dharma go to hell, and start by being rational from the very basics.
You never questioned the framework. In the framework you only jockeyed for the position of power.
Anyway, this is the power of our culture, even though it’s a slave system and it does not create nor produce anything new, it stood the test of time, by defining and evolving a system where there is a glittering throne. So that even the one who wants to break away from this system is tempted to stay in it lest he might one day sit on it, or at least watch the power from afar and gain salvation.
You see who ever sits on the throne has absolute power, and blind faith of everybody in the system To watch the antics of the throne, or actually be on it is a very, very tempting thought.
This understanding of our culture I only attained after I got back to my god state.
Getting back to my story, you see one of the reason’s I am upset with Valimiki is he just say’s that I shot an arrow and killed Tataki.
That is impossible.
If it was possible then umpteen numbers of my clansmen could have shot an arrow and killed Tataki, especially after getting to know her famed wealth. By making it so simplistic, Valmiki implies that it is all made possible by Viswamitra, because I shot Tataki dead after I got the Bala, and Atibala mantras from Viswamitra.
So, you see, viola, a brahmin, even if he is a double role playing guy, gives me a mantra to mumble away to glory, and I perform the impossible.
Let me tell you, however much you might mumble on these mantras nothing will ever happen, except for the fact that if you don’t shut your mouth for too long you might get a sore throat.
This Valmiki never gives me full credit. He is always at promoting these Brahmin guys even at my expense. That upsets me.
Well, the intelligence and planning of the subterfuge to kill Tataki and get at her wealth is all Visvamitra, but the actual act is mine and I carried it with aplomb.
Killing her is my first step to success or power.
By the way did I tell you Tataki’s lineage. Well Tataki is the daughter of Yaksha, Suketu. Yaksha is a tribe of natives. She is the husband of Sunda, who is son of Jambha, and she is the mother of Marica.
By the time I killed her she was a widow.
See even if she is a queen and ruler in her own right, when giving her lineage, there is no mention of any women. Her father is so and so, her husband is so and so, and her son is so and so. Without a man there is not even any lineage for a woman. That’s the male centric ethics I was equipped to promote.
So even by the wildest imagination, how can you tolerate an able female ruler in our midst, especially when she is of native stock Huh! you tell me that. Especially after getting to know her famed wealth?.
Lots of later day critics came up with this absurd gibe, the first person I killed is a woman, the first person I killed is a woman.
It is absurd.
Is killing, something to be celebrated? .
If killing is to be a celebrated event, then are women beneath our consideration that they don’t even merit to be killed.
You see I learned a lesson or two from Ravana, which initiated a thought process and came into full bloom in my mind, only after I attained my God status. Now I can say, that killing is not to be celebrated.
Back then I killed Tataki because she is a female native enjoying all the privileges of a male, and in my hypnotized mind, that was crime enough, and at the back of my mind I had this thought that her money would be very, very useful to me. Period.
Looks like I am confusing you. See, after I attained this God state I got to know what is what, and I now know what exactly it is that I promoted, and I am not terribly proud of it. But I am proud of the fact that I promoted a system, which stood like a pillar, unchanging, for a long, long time to come, and not to forget that it was advantageous to me and to all the later day males. So it makes me happy and I like it. So, I keep switching between supporting and criticizing it.
I know my system has survived for too long a time and its death is near. That’s one of the main reasons I want to get my story right, before it loses its relevance.
You want to know the scoop of how exactly I killed Tataki?.
Well, with a bow and arrow, no less and no more, but there is more to it and here it is.
You see Visvamitra timed our visit to Tataki, when her son is away. She was alone and Visvamitra being a friend of Janaka, who is on friendly terms with the natives, had Tataki’s confidence to some extent. So, upon arrival, Visvamitra, sent message to Tataki that he has something of great importance to communicate and she better come out into open alone.
Given the experience’s she had with us, she refused to be lured. That’s when I came in handy. I was just a boy and very innocent looking.
So it was again proposed that a boy would meet her and she had nothing to fear and it is to her advantage to come alone. Believing that I would do her no harm, she accepted to meet me in her realm but alone.
That was her undoing. When I met her, boy I still remember, she was old and frail. I told you she was a widow. For an instant I felt sorry for her. But my duty beckoned to me, and her gold beckoned her to her death I guess.
She wasn’t even armed. She was full of love and very motherly, but as soon as I got her in a tight corner, I shot her and killed her.
In the ensuing confusion, we grabbed as much as we can of her treasure, and got out of the situation. You see she wasn’t wary, so she hasn’t secreted it all. Anyway I told you its of great value and it is very light for its value, that we got quite a lot in value. With this wealth I purchased an army, which Valmiki keeps referring as Astra’s, magic arrows, which take on human form and help me in war.
That’s stupid.
If he wants to say all my army is due to Visvamitra, that’s one thing, but coming up with this weird astra’s!, what bullshit is it. If all the astras are from Viswamitra and they are given to me just by mumbling some mumbo jumbo, why should Viswamitra wait until I kill Tataki to give them to me, Huh!.
I know Visvamitra planned the killing of Tataki and the subsequent looting, but hey I need to get some credit as well.
If I hadn’t been such a deceitful, and innocent looking boy, would any of it be possible.
After this looting and creating a reserve army to be called forth when needed, we continued wandering various Ashrams in fear of retribution from Tataki’s son Marici.
He will attempt avenging his mother’s death and if possible restore the wealth that we have stolen.
Well, he finally overtook us at Siddashrama, where we finally got to defeat him and kill his other brother Subahu. We got Marici so overwhelmed that he went away as far as the sea and started making new alliances there.
Our policy, of isolate and destroy, paid off.
First we isolated Tataki and killed her, then we kept up the run, anticipating Marici with the attendant Subahu to come after us. Actually this Subahu is the son of Upasunda, brother of Sunda. Remember this Sunda was the husband of Tataki and father of Marici.
Anyway, we were secure in our home ground, i.e. ashrams, but they are coming after us. We can wear them off and finally strike our blow.
One should not make decisions when one is emotionally upset. Look, what happened to this Marici! Hearing that his mother got killed, in revenge he came after us. He made the decision to pursue us, when he was emotionally upset about his mother’s murder.
God he lost so much of his family and army that he was practically not a threat to us any more. He even left his realm and went off to the seas. The only fear is that he might strike up fresh alliances with natives south of Vindhya’s near the sea. He actually tried to play a part with Ravana, but it is only in promoting peace through dialogue. No war and violence.
But for the present we were without any threat from this Tataki and her clan. We were victorious in destroying her realm and culture. Told you, we were locusts.
Anyway, this Siddhashram where we had the last battle with Marici, is where Vamana lived. He is supposed to be a descendent of Vishnu. This Vishnu is a big guy, very powerful, and all that, very big man in our clan.
You know what, later on, after this Ramayana happened, we did some philosophical speculations and came up with some nice stuff. We said Vishnu is all that. So, everybody got confused and thought he was a big god instead of a big man.
Anyway, this Vishnu and his descendents are all for us. They always kill the natives, or rakshasas, and help us a lot in capturing them and their territories. He uses any method that is available, no ethics and stuff. If he has to lie to defeat Rakshasas, that’s Ok. You see, that kind of methods! .
Vishnu uses anything to get the better of rakshasas.
Well, Vamana is one of his descendents and he did a lot of harm to Bali, a very gentlemanly rakshasa emperor. The funny thing is, this Bali wanted to be one of us, and adopt our ways, but still we can’t tolerate them. They are imposters, so Vamana took care of him. So, its his ashram. That’s the story about Siddhasram.
After I got wealthy, had this reserve army and got rid of Tataki and her clan, I decided that I need to thank my guru and take leave. Felt powerful enough. When I told my guru my intentions, he had further plans for me.
Told you he is a real smart guy. Never taught me all these devious methods direct. You see he wanted me in his control.
There is this silly story about a cat and a leopard. Both are feline, but cat can climb trees and leopard can’t. It seems the cat was the teacher for leopard, and he taught him all he knew of hunting and stuff, except tree climbing. When asked why he did not teach leopard that skill, the cat answered, that he has to keep some skill to himself to have his pupil in his control.
You get what I mean.
But I am a fast learner and a clever pupil. I learned things taught and which are not taught direct, pretty fast.
Visvamitra wanted me to have an alliance with Janaka, if possible through my marriage with his daughter Sita.
Before he put forward his proposal, he gives me my Vamsa Vriksha (my ancestry), in the male line. I guess he gave it to me then, to boost up my morale. To make me feel I am great, instead of feeling just like a common thief.
We committed robbery just then, right.
I tell you what, Valmiki in order to boost up my image told all bull. If what he tells is the exact truth, there is no need to keep exaggerating facts. I would really be god. My ancestors lived for thousands and thousands of years, and they performed wonderful deeds like even bringing Ganga, the mighty river, which flows from the Himalayas. You see he is trying to make us all gods and divine things.
We performed all the wonderful things, and so we own everything.
Got the logic of it! . Valmiki was trying to form a basis for a theocratic state.
We created or we are directly responsible for you people enjoying the simple things, which nature is bestowing on you, so you are all indebted to us, and because they provided such theocratic backing for us, we are indebted to these brahmins, so that all the brahmins can have loads and loads of free food.
In the guise of preaching dharma, they boost up our image and drive it in, that everybody is indebted to the Gods i.e. we. But remember we have nothing to do with all that stuff. It was there and the nature was better harnessed for the good of mankind by the time we came to this region. I told you we were locusts, remember that.
Anyway, the ancestry of Ishvaku’s, that is ours, start with a guy called Sagara. He had two wives, but again no children. The senior wife was Kesini, princess of Vidharba, and the second was Sumati, daughter of Aristanemi, and sister of Garuda, the eagle king.
So, for children this Sagara went off to a mountain called Bhrguprasravana, in the Himalayas and it seemed he performed austerities for one hundred years.
Imagine that.
Anyway then came along another brahmin called Bhrgu, probably to inseminate his wives.
God, the way these brahmins infiltrated my clan! , may be that’s the reason they like us.
Well, it seems that he wanted to inseminate only one wife and the other is to have an entire group of sixty thousand males, whom she is to treat as her sons. The senior one decided to have the son, and the junior one the entire group of sixty thousand.
Look, at the way, they make up these myths and fables. Valmiki tells that Bhrgu gave a boon, and the senior got pregnant with one son and the junior was supposed to have sixty thousand sons.
The hyperbole.
The senior I can understand, one pregnancy. But look at the junior, she gave birth to a pumpkin and on opening it, there came not one, not two but sixty thousand sons emerged from it.
How absurd, sons from a pumpkin, indeed.
Well, Valmiki is unstoppable. He further goes on to say, these sons were placed in pots of butter and they grew up.
Valmiki only knew about the pastoral culture. We had lots and lots of cows, some for their milk, some for meat, etc. So, for him butter was the greatest technological advancement ever, its cutting edge research.
So, butter is cure all, heal all.
Forget about what valmiki said literally and listen to me.
This Sagara came back with his sixty thousand and one sons, all male. The one guy was named Asmanja. It seems this guy was very high-spirited and since these sixty thousand pumpkin sons are puny, had fun with them. The father got cross and sent him away for a while. While this Asmanja was not at hand, this Sagara decided to perform an Asvamedha yaga.
Do you guys know what an Asvamedha Yaga is?. No. Ok, then listen. It literally means killing of the horse. A horse is selected as a sacrificial animal, and is let loose for a year or so, some designated period of time. During this time the yaga yajamani, the guy who performs this yaga or ritual, has to feed the whole lot of brahmins and other free loaders who can invade his hospitality. All the free loaders then say that all the ground traversed by this horse now belongs to the guy performing this yaga.
What a convenient way of land grabbing! .
Well now comes the gooiest part of the yaga. The horse is then bought back, sedated or immobilized otherwise, the penis, by the way the sacrificial horse is to be a male, is placed inside the yoni i.e the cunt, of the head queen, or which ever female is participating with the yajamani, and phut, the horse is beheaded.
Well, the very purpose of all this complex ritual apart from land grabbing, is for the piercing of the hymen of the female who is not bearing children. On being beheaded the horse ejaculates, and hopefully the hymen will be pierced. The brahmins say that horse semen is ejaculated into the queen to have a son as strong and fast as a horse.
Got the point.
Well in our days as well, this is the sequence. No kids, then marry another female. Still no go, then may be your seed is not good. So, in the guise of performing austerities, or penance, or ritual, or yaga, whatever it may be called, invite a brahmin guy, if possible a good looking and virile specimen to impregnate. Still no go, then perform Asvamedha, at least the female’s hymen is pierced. Still no go, then they invent a complex story, to tell you how somebody in your ancestry offended a brahmin, so no kids for you.
They make a moral out of your situation.
You see for all your unmet desires in the present, you have offended only a Brahmin, and for all impregnation you are supposed to invite only a brahmin. Its ok, to even kill other lowly people.
Look at the way they try to cement their elite position. Ok, if you are a rich guy, then you pay through your nose for the alleged crime committed by your ancestor against a brahmin. If you are lucky you have kids, if not, anyway its telling stories, they invent another story, until you are completely fleeced.
What a fucking blackmail situation they turned this infertility problem into! .
Ok, where am I?. Yes, this Sagara was performing an Asvamedha Yaga, I wonder why he is performing the yaga? . Sagara is not childless. May be he is doing it solely for land grabbing.
Anyway on the day of the actual killing the horse is lost.
Poor thing, must have guessed its approaching death. Anyway it seems it stayed at the Ashram of a guy called kapila.
Here Valmiki gets into hyperbole. It seems Sagara asked his sixty thousand sons to go search for his horse. They searched the entire earth, couldn’t find it, so they dug up the earth, still couldn’t find it, so went under sea, and found it at Kapila’s ashram, and when they tried to take it, he snorted and they all got burnt. What a hyperbole.
Well what Valmiki was trying to tell was, see my ancestors, that means me, were so powerful that at will we could invade your privacy and search, we can dig up the earth at our will because we own it and even the seas we own. You own nothing! . It is all mine, so you better worship me as your master and stay obedient to me.
But these brahmins are more powerful than us. Sagara’s sons had all these powers and legal powers etc, and they all got burned to ashes by this brahmin guy, snorting. See, how powerful these brahmin’s are?.
How do they get all this power? . By setting up Ashrams and doing detective work! . I know information is power, because the guy who has more information necessarily wins, but this is too much. All they do is detective work and they try to control us inside out.
The only reason I like the system I perpetuated is that it stood for so long.
Is that because you are stupid, or is it because it is so intolerant to suppress any doubt and irreverence? .
Well, this Asmanja, had a son called Ansuman, who was called back and asked to look for his uncles. He found the ashes and reported back to his grandfather. Here is a twist to the tale. It seems they were told, this Sagara and this one surviving grandson, that for these sixty thousand sons to go to heaven their ashes should not be removed from that place but they have to be immersed in Ganga.
Well, Ganga is a mighty and a very useful river. But is it necessary to tell such hyperbolic stories to make it divine!. It is just a stream. Well, even with out any stories of divinity Ganga is divine in my eyes. It supplies water, perennially. That life giving stream is divine, not me, if at all something has to be made divine
Before I go further with the story of my ancestors, let me tell you the story of Ganga, the story of Valmiki’s, Ganga. My author, Valmiki takes the existing features and keeps telling that I am responsible for them in a futile attempt to make me the owner of that piece of nature, to give me larger than human powers. But the pathetic thing is, with his attempts he makes me more and more human. The attempt not only fails, but it makes me look cheap.
You see, even before I was created through the imagination of Valmiki, Ganga was there, Himalaya’s were there, Vindhya’s were there, and the land in between was there. I had nothing to do with them. If he wants to exert his power through me, well its his problem. I guess he can do whatever he wants since I am his creation.
But, I shouldn’t be made to look so cheap.
Well, anyway this is what is told about Ganga becoming divine. The Himalayas or king Himavat had two daughters, Uma and Ganga. The Gods came and requested that Ganga be given to them, and her father gifted her to the Gods.
Now comes the weirdest story of Ganga’s role with the divine beings.
It seems Shiva, the phallic god, married Uma, Ganga’s sister, and they started copulation. Do you know for how long? . They copulated for one hundred celestial years.
What an exaggeration! . By the way, you know what a celestial year is?. No, ok, this is the time scale of the Hindu systems. Don’t know if they are right or wrong, but one thing’s for sure, they are not useful now. The invention of the scale got nothing to do with me. I am just the moral guy, not the scientific guy.
Well, a divine year is equal to 360 human years, but Valmiki says celestial year, as a year of Purusha, which is 360 days and 360 nights of Purusha. Well, one day of Purusha is one hundred years of Brahman. In every day of Purusha there is a night, during which there is inactivity. One year of Brahman, is 360 days and 360 nights of Brahman. One day of a Brahman is a Kalpa. So two kalpas make a night and day of Brahman. One kalpa is fourteen manvantaras together with a samdhi of the duration of one Kritayuga, i.e four thousand eight hundred divya or divine years, between each two of them. One manvantara is equal to seventy one caturyugas. One caturyuga is twelve thousand Divya years. As told before one Divya year is 360 human years.
So, you see what a prolonged copulation. Probably they had this in their twisted minds about manliness. The longer you copulate, the more powerful you are, larger the quantity of semen you ejaculate the more powerful you are, the more number of sons, not daughters, you had, more powerful you are.
I wonder if guys died like fleas back then, or was the earth so devoid of humans?.
Anyway, it seems everybody got worried, that if out of this union a son is born, he will be very powerful, and be a threat to them all.
See the association of ideas.
So, they asked Shiva not to give Uma a child, that is, not to ejaculate into her. He agreed, and let all his semen building up in him drop on the ground.
Well, all the mountains and stuff that we have on earth are all Shiva’s burnt semen.
Wonder if he let go of some of his urine as well, and all that became rivers.
Well, there is another version of this in “Kumarasambhavam” by Kalidas. It seems the Gods were curious why even after such a prolonged copulation Shiva had not ejaculated, so they sent Agni, a male God to look into the state of affairs.
Shiva on seeing Agni, finally ejaculated into Agni. Agni on receiving the semen of Shiva into him, found it too unbearably hot, and he went to put it into Ganga.
May be this version is a harbinger of your day homosexual copulation, or may be its just to show off their knowledge that Agni or fire is the cleanser of all, and if semen is to be transferred it has to be cleaned and what better medium than Agni, the fire. Don’t know what exactly they meant.
Well, with this loss of semen, Uma got really upset. Wonder how she must have felt, not one, not two but after one hundred celestial years of copulation, and everything goes waste.
Hmm.
Anyway, it seems she cursed that all the Gods wives will be sterile and left in a huff. Guess by then the Gods are quite sufficient in number. It makes it tad difficult to keep count on all the gods if there is only birthing and no dying. So no birthing any more.
Well, the gods wanted a commander and so they went to consult Brahma, and he told them to go ask Agni since he burnt the shiva’s fallen semen, to make a baby with Ganga. See how Ganga came back into picture. This is another version of putting semen into Ganga. Both the versions ultimately confirm that Shiva’s semen was received by Ganga.
Well, that’s what this Agni did. You see, Valmiki did not like the description of penetration and conception, also since Agni is only the carrier of Shiva’s semen, it was told that he just spills it on Ganga, and she gets pregnant.
Anyway that’s how the story goes.
The conceived fetus is aborted and is swallowed by six women or goddesses and they gave birth to six babies. In some versions they are humans and in some they are goddesses. On being born, all the six babies merged into a single six-faced baby. This baby grew up to be kartikeya.
In your days he is mostly in vogue as male centric god. Only males or females not in reproductive age can worship this god. That’s how male centric the whole ritual is.
Those who worship this kartikeya who is also known to appear as Ayyappa, absolve from sex, have lots of male bonding, consciously degrade themselves, by sleeping on the floor, eating only one meal a day, having a guru (master) for each group, not dressing well, addressing every one around as Swamy (Sir), not showing any anger or aggressiveness and being respectful of everybody around, chanting verses in praise of the god everyday etc. By the way in another version, Ayyappa, is born when Shiva and Vishnu, both males mate. Vishnu dresses up as a woman, or became a woman and Shiva copulates with Vishnu.
Given the rituals and the story about the birth of Kartikeya or Ayyappa, one shouldn’t be surprised if that sect attracts a lot of gay or homosexual men in your day.
Anyway this is the story of Ganga’s association with the gods.
Well, to continue with the story of my ancestors, after his sons were killed Sagara ruled for thirty thousand years, and after him Ansuman ruled for thirty two thousand years, and after him Dilipa for another thirty thousand years, and after him came Bhagiratha.
I wonder if they mistook hours for years! .
Bhagiratha is again a double role-playing guy. He imitated brahmins so much that he got accepted. You see, who ever use’s flattery with these brahmins not only gets license for double role playing but also gets to do some great things.
This Bhagiratha is credited with bringing Ganga down from heavens.
By saying that Bhagiratha bought it from heavens, it only means that at Valmiki’s time they are not sure where exactly Ganga originated. Anyway Valmiki tells how it traversed the Himalayas, and implying that the whole of Himalayas is Shiva’s head. Shiva, is a phallic god, and see, how his position is elevated.
You don’t own this Himalayas because you husband it, but since it is shiva’s hair, you should be indebted to this god for being able to husband it! .
While Bhagiratha is bringing her to earth, there are geographical references to make it sound like we created those features, and finally on to the sea. So, we own all of this land because we run all over it and created all useful things in it. So you better be indebted to me.
After these stories, my guru, told me stories about the creation of nector, about the ancestry of the king of Vishala, about Ahalya, and so on.
Of all these, Ahalya’s story needs some correction. The rest of the stories don’t matter. Just the same old stories, you can believe them if you want to or be skeptical if you want to be so. They are all just old wine in old bottle stuff.
Ahalya is the wife of Gautama. The story goes that, Ahalya knowingly or unknowingly, one can’t be really sure, slept with another man, actually king of gods, the Indra. Gautama knew about it when he saw Indra leaving his house, and Gautama cursed for Indra’s testicles to fall off, and Ahalya to be turned into a stone. He being a brahmin, according to Valimiki, his curse was carried out as if it is a command. Later he became calm and said that Indra could have Ram’s testicles instead of God’s and Ahalya would be made normal upon being touched by Rama, that’s me.
Well, let me tell you the real scoop. This episode is incorporated in to my story, to illustrate that a woman is not only an economic and mental slave of a man, but she is also a sex slave of a man. You see the sexuality and sexual desires of a woman are to be controlled by a man. Well at least it was the desire of Valmiki, Gautama and me, at that time.
A woman has to have a desire and subsequently an orgasm when the man who owns her says so. She should respond even in her thoughts to her man only. You got the picture now.
It is just not the husband who controls her sexually. A father decides who shall be her sexual mate, and the son if the woman turns into a widow, has the power to deny her a sexual mate. See, all through her life a woman’s sexual desires are to be controlled by man, either by choosing the mate or providing it or denying it.
At no stage in her life a woman can break out of this mould and say let me choose my mate and the associated sexual freedom of deciding when she has sex, and her desires, etc, etc.
If the man has a fetish he can impose it on the woman, and if a man has no fetish then his women are expected not to have any fetish. A woman has no right even to choose between having any fetish or not having any fetish, let alone having choice between fetish’s.
Whatever the man chooses the woman should treat it a command. If, out of ordinary sexual behavior is desired by the man, then the woman should comply. A woman should not engage in sex outside the marriage union, on her own accord, but if commanded by the husband whether she likes it or not, she should engage in it.
The moral wrong that Ahalya did in the story is to engage in a sexual act and mate with Indra, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Even if it is the king of God’s, still he is male and, even if she engages in the act not knowing that he is not her husband, still its considered to be a moral wrong. Forgot to mention, in one version, Indra disguised himself as Gautama, Ahalya’s husband and slept with her.
The act was important, not the intention.
When she was cursed, to be turned into a stone, what Gautama did was to command her to suppress all her desires, sexual mainly, and live like a stone.
Ahalya carried out his command as a dutiful wife.
Later Gautama, said she could respond to me, and she responds, I mean sexually.
Humans don’t turn into real stones and back again at the whim of another human.
You see two birds with one shot, I get my premarital training, and Ahalya gets further humiliated. I am the age of her son, and she serves me as my sex slave, what further degradation could happen to any human being with even an iota of self-esteem! .
You get the whole picture now! .
Out of the whole experience I didn’t get much joy. You see I wasn’t hardened enough to think of woman and other human beings as slaves or something whose happiness doesn’t deserve a thought, also I did what I did because I was commanded to do so by Gautama and Vashista, makes me feel sort of a sex slave for these guys, especially since they commanded my sexual behavior, and I executed those commands.
I was just sixteen years old, still an innocent teenager, and I lost my virginity and dignity, under severely humiliating conditions. Hmmm.
Well, this Valmiki keeps saying that Ahalya was ecstatic at being told that she should respond to my touch, and later at being touched by me. Actually she is further degraded. She is told to respond to the touch of my feet. You see, feet are supposed to be the lowly parts of the body.
This sexual behavior in our culture might be explained away by our concern about mixing up of seed, but more than just mixing up of seeds, it’s the desire of the male to control the female in all aspects. If our main concern was mixing up of seeds, then Gautama would not degrade Ahalya, nor would he specify with whom she should sleep. By sleeping he meant, responding sexually. Gautama was dictating to Ahalya, how, when, and with whom she should be having an orgasm. See, the total control over females that is desired by men of our system.
Anyway now that you know the real scoop about Ahalya, don’t go on role-playing Ahalya. It is not good for your mind. Every, human should have their dignity, and self esteem.
Also, sexual behavior is one very private thing, that nobody but you should have any control on it.
It is too inhuman.
But what amazes is that there are umpteen, number of women, role-playing Ahalya and umpteen, number of men, role-playing Gautama.
Come on. Get a life.
Well, after listening to all these stories, and getting some premarital experience, and also getting a psychological boost up by being told that I am god like, me, my guru, and my brother, arrived at Mithila, the capital city of Videha, kingdom of Janaka.
I am supposed to marry Sita, to cement ties and to garner support for my claim to kingship in Ayodhya.
At the time we arrived in Mithila, King Janaka was conducting a Yagna, don’t know for what purpose the yagna is being conducted. It seems he regularly keeps conducting these yagna’s, may be because he is a double role-playing guy.
Makes him feel brahminish I guess.
Anyway, it gave us an opportunity to get in. Remember, my guru, Visvamitra is also a double role-playing guy. After we got in, it seems that my guru had already had discussions with Janaka, in secret about the game plan of me, and Sita getting married.
Once we were there, not much time was wasted. Janaka met with Visvamitra and asked if we were the boys. When told yes, he was delighted. I guess Janaka had a doubt that in the guise of a political marriage Visvamitra might be passing eunuch or something of that nature as princes, but I have already been tested with Ahalya.
Those guys had a very rigid and perverted view of what constituted a man. Told you before, in their view a god is great if he has loads of jizz, and if he can copulate for years all together.
So, you know what they are looking for in a man, and a man has to be a master of his wives and his subjects, so no softy, for them. Actually I was a boy of sixteen just out of puberty but hey I have a lot to make Janaka happy.
The funny thing of my marriage is that Sita was never consulted, actually I was not consulted either. The strangest thing was Sita could be won as a prize in the competition. Just like you win a thing. It is also rumored that Sita is a bit older to me. But hey, she is a female, so even if she is a senior to me, regarding age, I can still be her husband.
Told you its all a political thing. But I guess it is all in my best interest. Makes me stronger politically and militarily with this marriage. In order to win this Sita I had to pass a test, which would show my strength. I had to string a bow, which is supposed to be very heavy.
Valmiki goes into his grandiose descriptions, by saying fifty strong men had to pull the cart which contained this bow. Hey, this test is fixed. Will tell you all about it later. For now, I have to tell you the story of this bow and all that.
This, bow along with another was made by one Viswakarma. This Viswakarma is supposed to be a great engineer, architect, scientist, all rolled into one. He is so good that he is supposed to work for the gods. Anyway, he made two of them and gave one to Vishnu and another to Shiva. If Shiva and Vishnu, are omnipotent gods, two of the trilogy of gods, why would they require the weapons of a craftsman, to make them powerful. Don’t know, but that’s how the story goes.
Well, the gods had a contest to see who was more powerful, and Vishnu broke the bow of Shiva, and this Shiva got angry and gave it away to the lesser gods. Before that incident he used to frighten these lesser gods that he would use this bow to cut off their limbs and such, but now its no use. The gods gave this bow to Devarata, an ancestor of Janaka in the line of Nimi, in trust to keep it.
It seems that no human was ever able to string it, until now. Vishnu gave his bow to Parasurama, son of Jamadagni, in the line of Bhrgu. You remember where this Bhrgu got in my story before. Well, he was the one who inseminated my ancestor Sagara’s first wife to produce Asmanja. The second wife had the sixty thousand sons remember.
Ok this Parasurama, was a legendary figure in our history. He killed his mother because his father had a suspicion on her. See, our slave system was that old. The son never questions the father, even if the great master, the father orders the son to kill his own mother. All females, are slaves, even a mother is a slave. Need not think or have agony from guilt, over killing away a slave, even if it is your very own mother.
Well, the story goes that Jamadagni was so happy at the obedience of his slave, i.e. son, that, he granted him a boon and the slave asked that his mother be spared her life, so all’s well with the world.
It’s sick, making women so powerless. This slave system plays havoc with your minds, and it hinders relationships developing between humans, whether male or female, with dignity.
By the way I always had this doubt, a guy can be sure of only his biological mother, can never be sure who the biological father is. Just have to believe the mother. I know you guys now developed some tests to determine the biological father but back then one just has to accept whomever the mother says is his father.
I guess with such uncertainty the men used to push women more and more into the baby making machines and slave role, but poor guys they could never be sure.
Anyway, Jamadagni was killed, by a king that is a Kshatriya, and Parasurama took up his cudgels against all Kshatriya’s, and started killing them all en mass. You see some of the disadvantages of grouping. One member’s crime is attributed to the entire group. That’s the reason one has to learn to see individuals as individuals, not as a part of the group. But by grouping people, it is easy to classify an individual into a group, and it is easy to predict a new individual’s actions and behavior, based on our observation of the group.
But anyway parasurama decided to make the entire group responsible. So, the legend goes that he went on killing all the Kshatriyas, and gained ownership over the entire land and later gifted it to Kashyap. This Kashyap is a brahmin and Kapila who burnt the sixty thousand sons of Sagara to ashes, by snorting is a brahmin.
OK, now you found the threads in this legend. All that these brahmin guys want to say is that, though we are the rulers, we are surviving as rulers because of their gratuity. If they want, they can kill us all, like Parasurama, and they are the real owners of the land, because now theoritically all land belong’s to Kashyap, and while we enjoy the land with the gratuity of brahmins, if we make any pretences of independence then we will be burned to ashes by mere snorting by the brahmins like Kapila.
Just, by repeating some simple stories, what a land grabbing conspiracy, to usurp the rights of everybody else! . Amazing, the audacity of it, and really the most amazing thing is that everybody believes it to some extent. That’s what I think, even in this god state.
Wonders never seize to happen.
Let me tell you this, land never belonged to the Kshatriya’s in the first place, for Kashyap to grab it by telling fairy tales as evidence. Remember we are nomadic, pastoral clans, and we did not husband any land nor had any land.
For us making butter is cutting edge technology.
Most of the land in this region belonged to the natives, that is, the rakshasas, kineras, gandharvas etc. So there is no land to be gained by killing all these Kshatriyas .
Also this parasurama is a big windbag, lots of farting and nothing else. I defeated him in single combat, and I was just sixteen. He is incapable of killing even a lamb in combat.
It is all a story to keep the reins in the hands of the brahmins in the evolving theocratic state structure. Told you whoever is in the position to say the dharma tells it in their favor.
Anyway, let me tell you a secret. The bows made by Viswakarma and given to shiva and vishnu, do you know what they are? .
They are step-pulling bows.
You use all your force and pull it a step and there is a stopper to prevent the bow from going back, so you can relax and use your strength again to make it more taut with each effort. You can pull it to double the strength of a regular bow. By using these bows one has a lot of advantage as one can attack the enemy at double the distance than with the regular bow.
I don’t know if my clansmen did not know how to use or what, but it seems nobody got to use it in Janaka’s court. But all rakshasas knew how to use it, and actually to make it as well. That’s the reason Sita got to know about this bow and about using it. I had a fair knowledge of it when I was battling Marici, son of Tataki and Sunda.
Told you this test of strength to win Sita is all fixed. It’s technique, not the physical strength. So, I passed this test with aplomb and everybody is happy. In order that the double role playing guys, Visvamitra and Janaka, gain ascendancy over the brahmin guys, it was also proposed that Sita’s sister Urmila be married to my brother Lakshmana. No show of strength or manhood here. I am his brother, and I stand for him if needed.
Anyway, message was sent to my father and in a week he is at Mithila, no mothers or females. Marriage is an all male thing, no doubt about it. Marriage is establishing ownership and claiming a woman.
Valmiki keeps suggesting that it is always nice to distribute wealth in the form of cows and metal among brahmins. I wonder why brahmins should always be given the wealth. So they can be free loaders or what.
Why not an occasion, to distribute some of the wealth to the producers? . Anyway all that accumulated wealth is stolen from the producers in the first place.
OK, I shouldn’t be criticizing it all. But had a wedding, whether happy or not. It was further agreed that the two daughters of Kasudhvaja, brother of Janaka, who was made ruler of a small kingdom of Samkasya, near the river Iskavati, by killing the previous ruler, were to be given in marriage to Bharata and Shatruguna, and all four marriages were consecrated at the same time.
By the way, there is one thing that I really liked in the wedding, it is telling of genealogy. It is always only male but it is nice to know one’s ancestry.
Mine is kept with Vashista and it’s this:
The earliest remembered one is Marici whose son is Kasyapa, whose son is Vivasvan, whose son is Manu, whose son is Iksvaku(the first king of Ayodhya), whose is Kuksi, whose son is Vikuksi, whose son is Bana, whose son is Anaranya, whose was Prthu, whose son is Trisanku, whose son is Dhundhumara, whose son is Yuvanasva(with him we learnt the use of Chariot), whose son is Mandhata, whose son is Susandhi, whose son is Prasenajit, whose son is Bharata, whose son was Asita, whose son was Sagara, whose son was Asamanja, whose son was Ansuman, whose son was Dilipa, whose son was Bhagiratha, whose son was Pravrddha( this guy turned into a cannibal, don’t know why), whose son was Sankhana, whose son was Sudarsasa, whose son was Agnivarna, whose son was Maru, whose son was Prasusruka, whose son was Ambarisa, whose son was Nahusa, whose son was Yayati, whose son was Nabhaga, whose son was Aja, whose son is Dasaratha, and I am his son. Not too sure if this is made of the remembered hero’s or real, but it makes me real proud. Well, Visvamitra when tracing my ancestor’s went as far back as only Sagara. Wonder if there is no Ganga before Bhagiratha. Looking at this geneology, he seems to be a pretty recent guy.
Well, Janaka’s was kept with himself. He is the double role-playing guy.
The first remembered was Nimi, whose son is Mithi, whose son was first Janaka, whose son was Udavasu, whose son was Nandivardhana, whose son was Suketu, whose son was Devarata(who got the Shiva’s bow), whose son is a double role-playing guy called Brhadratha, whose son is Mahavira, whose son is Sudhrti, whose son is Dhrstaketu, whose son is Haryasva, another double role-playing guy, whose son is Maru, whose son is Pratindhaka, whose son is Kirtiratha, whose son is Devamidha, whose son is Vibudha, whose son is Mahidhraka, whose son is Kirtirata, whose son is Maharoma, another double role-playing guy, whose son is Suvarnaroma, whose son is Hrasvaroma, and Janaka and Kusadhvaja are his sons. Boy, Janaka had a lot of double role-playing guys, so no wonder he became a double role-playing guy. Anyway, Janaka has no sons, so his line ends here, and I get to inherit his kingdom! .
Joy o joy, four brothers married to four sisters. With these alliances the ascendancy of brahmins in our kingdoms was checked. At the wedding Yudhajit, the maternal uncle of Bharata, and the prince of Kekeya kingdom, the maternal home of Kakeyi, was also present along with Bharata.
Wonder why he came along, may be to assess the evolving political situation.
I guess parasurama got wind of the changed political scenario, and he came in a hurry, while we were leaving Mithila after the marriage, to challenge this Kshatriya ascendancy. I guess he really did believe in all the falsehoods perpetuated in his name, poor guy. Thought he was a great warrior or something, and challenged me to combat.
I beat the shit out of him and he promised that he would never claim ownership again and he would further retire into mountains not to return. Its no good antagonizing these brahmins further, so I let him go away. Now the brahmins can no longer keep claiming that all land belongs to kashyapa. What land anyway in the first place? . Bull shitting cuckolds.
Seeing that his job is done, Visvamitra retired into the mountains as well. My guru was a great guy. He made me so powerful with looting and political marriage that none of my brothers can even think of challenging, me. He finally got to put a stop to the brahmin ascendancy. Fulfilled his objectives and now he retires, very decent of him.
So, I finally returned to my parents home to set up shop.
Hey what is this, got carried away with my story telling, it’s quite a while since you are summoned. Gosh, need to send you back. I got my work to do Ok”.
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Zhoom, I am back to my easy chair and yelling from my family. There is no decent conclusion for Rama’s sessions. He acts in utter disregard to my feelings, and ends things abruptly. Even if I have any questions, I can’t ask. It’s a bit frustrating and it’s a weird experience, but its kind of thrilling to know the real Ramayana.
For a while Rama stopped bothering me, but it’s the turn of his mother, Kausalya, not the other two. It seems these people, are wronged by Valmiki, by not reporting the truth, nothing but the truth and the whole truth. You get the wind about this Valmiki. No wonder he wanted me to write it all down.
6. Kausalya summons me.
Well, Kausalya hauled me up this time. As an opening line she started, cribbing. All the way it is only cribbing.
“You see, Valmiki tells how a woman should be through me. Obedient to the husband, respectful of the son, trusting the son to make better judgement calls when required, never out and open with bitterness, in short not to cause any overt trouble to the masters. As a reward for bearing sons, I am allowed some partial say in my personal affairs and let off the drudgery of hard labor.
Well, I guess that’s because I am the mother of Rama, the protagonist. I am the exemplary mother. So, I am the lucky lady. It gives me satisfaction that I am important, but while you put down my story, do take care that you mention my feelings as well. You see I was the wronged lady in the whole story.
My husband did not love me. He had two other ladies as wives after me. I know my husband did not have the same feelings towards me as I had or was expected to have, towards my husband.
One difference between my husband and myself can be best explained by the fact that, because I did not have kids with him, I couldn’t go off and marry another man, and all the while it was his fault, not having kids. But my husband married two other women, blaming me for not having kids.
Our union not having offspring is not my fault. I had a son with Rishyasringa, the true delight of my life. But I had a son through Rishyasringa, only with the permission and approval of my husband. Dasaratha never took my permission or approval while marrying Sumitra or Kaikeyi. Now you see the difference between the two of us.
He is the owner and I am the owned.
He looks at me as a baby producing machine, and may be a necessary companion, nothing else. I am expected to have my entire life, emotions, inside out dependant on this man, and be his obedient slave.
Well, I am not complaining, at least he did not desert me. But its Kaikeyi, who gets at my goat. I am the elder wife, and it’s the right of my offspring to be the king, and right from the time when that woman got her clutches into my husband, she is scheming to make her son the king. I guess, then Kaikeyi, could be the king mother and boss over me in that capacity, after my husband is dead.
However much I am out of favor with my husband, I still have the moral authority as the eldest queen. It gives me authority with in the closed walls of the harem (anthahpuram), at least to some extent.
You see at that time there was no sati. At least we lived after our husbands died, I mean if we survived them.
What is this that I hear, that some supposed scholars are coming up with arguments that Ramayana happened later than the Mahabharata, because in the Mahabharata women are more liberated and women in Ramayana are more conservative, and as time passed women became more and more conservative and hence Ramayana is later than the Mahabharata.
Arrey Baba, what stupid arguments people come up with! . I wonder what your scholars think liberation means? . Because Draupadi married five brothers, and got to sleep with them all, she is liberated! .
Stupid idiots, Draupadi did not have any say on her thoughts or body. They played around with her, worse than they played with Ahalya. Draupadi did not announce that she wants to marry all the brothers in a family, and since Arjuna, her then master told her to marry his brothers as well, she married them also.
She was won in a contest, as my dear boy won my daughter in law, just as you win a prize, and Arjuna became Draupadi’s sole legal owner until he decided to share his ownership with his brothers as well.
See, starting with my son, down the time line the idea of treating woman as non-individual, an inanimate thing, moved from being OK, to being the norm. Draupadi was all the while treated as an inanimate object, before marriage and after marriage, it was even allowed to bid over her, as in your time you bid on money, land, or cattle.
Just a small detour, here I have to point out some of my thoughts about Draupadi, before I come back to my narrative.
Your scholars also came up with the legal dispute as raised by Draupadi. It seems that after losing Draupadi in the game of dice, by her eldest co-owner Dharma Raja, and she was forcibly bought to the public forum to be made naked, to show the contempt the present winners and owners of her, had for her. Then Draupadi asked the assembled elders, whether Dharma Raja first bid her or he bid himself first.
What Draupadi was supposedly trying to clarify was that as a slave Dharma Raja, cannot own any property, so if he first bid himself, and lost, then he automatically loses all rights to any property, hence ownership rights on her as well, right. So how can he then bid her, when he himself is a slave and is forbid by the system to be an owner of Draupadi.
This is supposed to be a fine legal point and you are all supposed to say wah wah, and appreciate it. But you idiots don’t realize that even Draupadi was accepting that she is chattel slave to somebody else. I guess by then the dharma or law says that when a person becomes a slave, then he cannot own any property, and it can be inferred that all the slave’s property, shall be transferred to the master of that slave.
I guess that is the reason no one objected to the stripping of Draupadi, even after she raising that legal point. That’s what is the most sorrow full thing about later people, they have lost the capacity to think deep and question the system. You see, Draupadi never protested nor questioned when she was enslaved.
She accepted it all.
You people not only stop questioning the system, but to top it, you role-play. In your time, how many guys role play Dhuryuadhana,(the guy who shamed Draupadi after winning her in the game of dice), and how many women are shamed like Draupadi?. Women in Ramayana are definetly more liberated than the women in Mahabharata.
You see the system that we initiated with Ramayana is bad, and it stinks. The test of any system is its age. If a system is good over time it should not destroy itself. Our system, which drew its strength by making humans as slaves, and women as slaves all through their lives, reached a mature stage by the time of Mahabharata, by which time idiocracies like Sati were becoming popular, and if allowed to continue, would have destroyed the human race. But I guess you people are making changes, but still you have not reversed it to the stage of Ramayana.
Ok, on with my narrative.
Well, its one thing with my husband, but even my radiant son disappointed, me. My dear son on whom I pinned all my hopes started preaching to me at the critical moment. That was the saddest hour of my life. When his father asked Rama to go in exile, I extolled him to go to war on his father and brothers, as he is capable of winning the war. But my poor boy, tells me all sorts of righteous excuses for not going to war. You know he is a grown Boy, and he has his reasons, but still, I am his mother and one who pinned all hopes on him.
If Rama won the war against Dasaratha, I would have been redeemed.
But no war, and topping that disappointment, my son preaches to me.
When his father asks him to forgo his riches and kingdom and go off in exile, he believes it is his duty, but when the mother asks him to do something, which is good for him, he preaches! .
It is not Rama’s fault really, it’s that Visvamitra. He poisoned the mind of my son against women. My dear Rama, wouldn’t care or couldn’t comprehend the misery of my life. The slights I underwent, the subtle workings that go into projecting my son as the best among the four sons of my husband. The ass licking I did for these brahmins and ministers to maintain my position and not be degraded further.
How, can he understand it all? .
I did it all for the glory of my son, and he preaches to me! . You know how hard my life is. It’s full of responsibilities, and miseries. I underwent all that for the sake of my dear son. Whatever happens he is still the apple of my eye. But he should listen to me, at least when it is time to listen. I am his mother and, he preaches to me! .
He also did not tell me about Ahalya. I got to know about it later. But I did not even confront him with it. Boys will be boys. Rama has to have his fun.
But it hurt me, when he did not inform me, let alone, seek my permission beforehand, when he married Sita. A mother knows best when finding a sexual mate for her son. You know, not only do some sons fantasize about their mothers as sexual partners, some mothers seeing a perfect mate in their son, also fantasize about their sons. Especially for a woman like me, it is very much true. My son Rama is my savior, and I love him very much. So, I think he should have asked my permission before his marriage. It is not that I don’t want to share him other women, but I should be given credit, before I am expected to pass him off to other women.
And to top it all he refuses to marry another woman.
His father married three and he is happy, so why wouldn’t my son marry another girl if he so desires. My son not only refuses to marry another girl, he makes a moral out of it.
See how I have been wronged all my life. “
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Shut up…shut up…shut up…shut up…shut up…shut up…shut up… it was at this point that I went slightly berserk, I guess. I couldn’t take it any more. At this point she left me, and I was caught screaming in my house. I hope I have not offended her.
I guess anything can offend her and even the worst things could not hurt her. It is all in her mind and in her bitterness.
Boy, she is a miserable lady. No wonder Rama got such a bad idea about women. The first woman a guy knows in his life is his mother, and this lady really spooked Rama about women.
Well, she is always cribbing, about one thing or the other. I wonder why she never demanded, when she felt something is her due? . I guess she compromises.
Kausalya is not a simple lady. She schemes, works behind the curtains and generally does all the noxious stuff. Never, an open, happy go lucky, competent lady. With all her scheming, what did she end up getting? . Nothing, zip, zero.
She was childless and grew old, through no fault of her. The sad thing is she knew that it is not her fault. She was then asked to put her dignity aside and go sleep with a young guy the age of her son, if she had kids in the right age, and she call’s that guy the delight of her life! . The indignity of it, the fucking guy assisted by his whore for arousal. Finally she gets to have her baby! .
“By the way, my lady, you don’t like your husband, and he has not much love for you either. So, you count and pile up all your slights and would be rights, and become more and more bitter. You look to your son to redeem all your slights, even against your husband. The only thought that keeps you going is that your son will grow up to be a powerful male and avenge for you. So, you do everything in your power to put Rama in the right place, so that he will be your useful tool.
You even lick ass and you call that love! . What kind of role model are you for your son huh! . There is a saying, “you ask an arm pit licking guy for a sambhavana(something of value), and he will bend you over and lick your ass”.
He was a lucky guy not to take you as his role model. If he did take you as his role model, what would he have ended up licking, since you are already an ass licking person?. Under your influence he did end up as one to some extent, but I guess not all the way. Rama told me that he realized on attaining the God status that he did not like you.
You know that. May be if you still are in your ass licking demented state, it will break your heart.
Milady, you wanted to make him a slave by you being his slave. You counted on indebtedness, but you did not reckon with one thing. It is too heavy a burden to be carried around by any person all through their life.
Do you know the tragedy of your life? . It is not, your husband not loving you, or your son preaching to you, or Kaikeyi scheming to make her son the king or anything else, it is your inability to perceive that the system that you perpetuated is an ass licking, monkey jockeying, stupid system.
You say the system you perpetuated is bad, but your biggest crime lies in the fact that you are one of the main perpetuators of that system. You never realized your role and went along with the general stream; never had the understanding or the courage to stand up, and in the process you inflicted that system on others.
You could have been free, and you never realized that you could be free. So, you did not even try to be free.
Your slavery is in your mind. Everybody dies, one day or the other, and it only matters how you lived your life, not what you ended up with, at the time of your death.
You might end up with husband, family, wealth what not, but if you have compromised to attain them, then your life is miserable. If one has bitterness in their mind, as you do, it is a sure sign that one has compromised in life.
That life is not worth leading milady.
Its not the destination that matters it’s the path that matters.
All the way.”
I, guess she still wallows in her bitterness at her unfair treatment in the hands of “fate”. She just doesn’t realize that in the system that she choose, to accept, she can only be left with bitterness, nothing else. She has expectations of redemption by being a mother of a male child, but she is only a female. The son if he is brought up in the same system, can only be a man.
May be because of my violent reaction to her narrative, she never bothered me again. I am glad to have got rid of her. It is hard to reconcile stubborn believers of injustice, whose only life sustainer is self-pity.
In a way I respect Kaikeyi for standing up to the treachery of her husband and demanding of him what her due is. She might have done it with the prompting of Manthara, her trusted servant maid, but in that slave system called family, that the characters of Ramayana perpetuated, she had the courage and determination to demand. At least in her mind she must have been free.
Free from dogma, free from fear, and free to think the unthinkable, that is questioning.
7. Rama summons me:
Part 3: Dharma and conclusion.
The next time Rama summoned me, he was his usual inconsiderate self, and started off by saying, “After my marriage the narration of valmiki until my exile is not inaccurate.
You see people did not weep at my exile. If I had such popular support, I would have found another righteous argument, to become a king and not go into exile. Right here I have one.
Since the king derives the power from the approval of his subjects, and the subjects have overwhelmingly desired me to be the king, then the dharma dictates, that I carry out their wish. If my father, the king did something, which is not to the subjects liking, then as would be regent, wouldn’t it be my duty to correct him. A king’s highest dharma is to seek the welfare of his subjects. How’s that for an argument? .
Anyway, the real reason I went off into exile, and not foment a revolt, is my acceptance of the dharma. The dharma, that Valmiki tried to promote and which I understood and realized in my God state, is the dharma of those times. Mind you, when I was carrying it out, it is with obedience, and blind faith, no understanding and intelligent application.
Let me explain the purpose or goal of that dharma. The only goal of our dharma is perpetuation. Like any other living being, a dharma created by a people can at best have perpetuation as its goal. To perpetuate the system, which we also call dharma, there has to be humans or better, people of our race left, since continuation of our race is of paramount importance than the continuation of the dharma.
You see without humans, there is no dharma, but there are and will be humans, without a dharma. This dharma is the handmaiden of the desire of my people to self perpetuate. But over time this clarity in hierarchy of purpose became a bit fudged. But there it is, fertility, and promotion of fertility, that is perpetuation, is the main purpose of the dharma.
How, does the dharma promote fertility? . First of all by imposing a duty of copulation and breeding on its constituents.
You see all our gods are grand reproducing machines.
Next, by providing a stable social framework to nurture and sustain the growing populations.
It is just not enough to have a stable framework, the dharma should also be acquisitive, or else how is the material wealth created?, and how are the string pullers of the dharma benefited?.
The problem is every progenitor of the dharma or the social system, keeps it a bit skewed to favor their identity. However much they might lie, about the broadness of their identity to encompass all the proposed constituents of the dharma, they have very narrow identity. As such our dharma is skewed to favor the male members of our clan and kinsmen, who became the religious and ruling classes in the society.
See we get to be the free loaders.
In our shortsighted vision, being free loaders is the highest comfort that we could aspire for.
Once the objective of the dharma is fulfilled then the only other objective of that dharma is to keep us in the free loaders position, into eternity. That’s what we hoped for anyway.
You see one has to accept that no human being is so stupid to be a stupid into eternity. The slaves will question the masters in one generation or the other and will disrupt this easy continuos flow of resources to us.
The only way to safe guard against such a possibility is to command blind obedience. Blind obedience from everybody, be it the king, priest or a chandala.
That is no doubt, no question, and no change, just acceptance.
Obedience can be commanded by instilling fear, but blind obedience can only be commanded through reverence, the reverence of the losers, for the system.
Any human being will have such reverence only if the object of reverence is deemed to be so powerful to be beyond the subject (person reverencing the object), and giver of good things.
You see if the object is perceived to be powerful and giver of bad things, then it engenders hate in the subject.
Reverence and hate are two sides of a coin, and both are generated from dependency.
So, voila, out came religion, god and afterlife. God is the object of reverence, and religion is the way of reverence.
Afterlife is such a useful concept. The object of reverence, in our case, god, need not be beneficial in this life. Afterlife creates hope that the god will be good in the next life, so even if you get bull dozed this life, since your perceived benefits in the after life are so huge, you grin and bear, you don’t even think of complaining.
If you are a complete foot-licking slave, you even thank god for providing you the opportunity to bear these hardships, so you earn your merit for the next life.
Bull shitting progenitors of the system.
In this god state I see what a lot of bull all that crap is. It’s a lie, religion, god and the whole framework. I guess the real string holders knew it was a lie, but kept it a closely guarded secret.
But you know what, with this gigantic lie the real system celebrated wealth.
Nothing else. No other higher aspiration. That’s a real disappointment, when I actually found out.
It has to be only an acquisitive system, since it is a human system. As I told you before after it provides stable environment for nurturing the young, it necessarily has to be acquisitive, at its technological level, as humans need resources to survive. But when we start questioning the system and try to figure out the truth, we all hope there is some higher purpose. When it turns out that the real purpose is so mundane, it is a disappointment. Initially it is even hard to accept that fact, however true it might be.
It’s purely a resource gathering and distributing system.
Out of this lie came the state. The funny thing is even in your time; you still celebrate state, which is false, sham, and a rotten lie through and through. The survival of state to your day speaks volumes about the stupidity of humans! .
Whether it is god or state or a state created to serve god, it speaks only lies. It puts on some gilded scales to dazzle you and you get awed, and start revering it. It says all value rests in it, and you believe. It breathes such stale stinking breath and you believe that is how a great person’s breath should be. It says give up your responsibility unto itself and you willingly surrender to it.
It gains power by bull shitting and you allow.
You miserable people.
Anyway even in our times state played an all-important role. State was primarily created to serve dharma and god. Wealth is only created from nature. The gods never jumped out of thin air and bestowed us with the material acquisitions. But we all believed the lie.
Wealth belongs to the person who husbands it, but the state or religion says all wealth belonged to it or god, which ever is convenient, and we all believed the lie.
In our system acquisition is done through raids, by taxes, by husbanding the land, or any other means that is handy. The wealth thus garnered is then distributed.
The god played no role in acquiring wealth but played a huge role in distribution.
All the free loaders have only god to fall back on. The dharma made sure that wealth flowed to the coffers of the brahmins/priests/gods/rulers/string pullers uninterruptedly.
You see since it created the lie and the fools actually believed it, it made hay.
The arbitrator of the distribution, the king never knew the suffering of the slave/workers/losers, and since religion/god/dharma saved him the trouble of beating the shit out of the subjects to make them pay up, promoted religion by being the protector of the dharma.
See, it turned the kings into slaves as well.
With the king as its functioning head and the brahmins having a hold on the king, in our theocratic state, no wonder the dharma had the only objective of having suckers into eternity. It was all so cozy and nice for the system progenitors.
That dharma ignored the fundamental attribute of the human mind or soul, if there is a soul.
That is freedom, freedom to express.
To express is life.
It may wallow in acceptance for a while, but ultimately its desire for freedom will assert. The while may be a nano second, to a thousand years, depends on how strongly the human mind is conditioned to value acceptance.
By the way, I realized the truth about life after my conversations with Ravana. I guess Ravana wants to talk to you as well. But for now just go with me.
Acceptance is at best a balm but once its effect is gone, the festering wound and its pain reasserts on the soul.
Longer the acceptance, severe the pain.
Anyway, you see in my reverential mental state then, I was driven into obedience to the system; that is religion, of accepting the fathers command, and looking nice and proper.
Simple, very simple I decided to accept my fathers command without much murmur, because I was completely programmed into obedience to the rules of the system, and I just had to listen to my father. I was so totally programmed that everybody made an example of my obedience to the future generations. More power to the system. It draws its power from obedience.
Well, in this god state I might analyze, criticize, anyjize but you got the real reason now.
Its just conditioning.
The later exponents of my life made this event the most important part of the entire story. They made an example of my act of obedience to my father. That act is not an act of renunciation, don’t get confused, it is an act of obedience. Actually it is similar to Parasurama killing his own mother to fulfill the command of his master the father. See, this going to the forests to obey the command of the father, when I was at the brink of being crowned, exemplifies the obedience that is expected in a slave, a slave to a human or a system or dharma.
I will elucidate one aspect before I move on. You see it was further made out that truth is the highest goal of any human endeavor and you arrive at truth by following the dharma.
But truth is conditioned by dharma.
When my exponents say truth, they do not mean speaking your mind. What they mean is the conclusion of right or wrong course of action.
This truth is definitely conditioned by dharma.
Dharma gives you your value system, and based on the values you arrive at the conclusion of what is right or what is wrong.
So, by seeking absolute obedience and faith in the dharma, the proponents want to dictate your value system. You surrender your value system without analyzing the dharma, to determine if it is the right dharma or the wrong dharma, then you are no longer independent.
You may jump into this pit or that pit but you are tied to the post of dharma. You don’t move afar. You do not question much, even if you become a rebel and start questioning.
You may at best question why you fell in this pit, and determine logically, if you have a logical mind, how far this pit is from the post and the path you took from the post to fall in this pit.
But everything is in reference to the post.
Your, world is dictated by the length of the tether.
So, one persons experience may be a bit different from another persons, experience with the same dharma, because one pulled a bit far and the other is too lazy to walk around.
But they are all the same.
Rationalists, who became critics of my system, did not outwardly have faith in my dharma, but has a value system tempered by that dharma, so they still concluded everything in reference to the post.
See, how strong faith is. It will never let you go.
That’s what the progenitors of my dharma wanted, an absolute faith in the power of the dharma, and from that faith reverence for the dharma, and through reverence absolute obedience.
Since I was the epitome of that dharma, my story was made the vehicle through which to propagate my dharma and thus gain converts that is slaves.
You see it was made out that, by having absolute obedience in my dharma, though I faced tribulations I was more than amply rewarded.
I became god, killed all the villains, had the power of life and death over all people in my kingdom, ruled for thousands of years, and all that.
You see the lie starts with telling you that being a king, killing villains, etc etc etc, gives you happiness.
But is that happiness? .
Anyway so for you all to collect the pot at the end of the rainbow, as I was made out to collect, simple, follow my dharma. Exhibit the same absolute obedience as I did, and the rest will happen.
You develop the required faith to believe in this lie and viola, you have changed your life. Now you can live a lie. At best it will be a life of dreams and false values.
Until you take a dharma to its logical conclusion and then you pick and choose which dharma to follow, you can never make a dharma your own, and a borrowed dharma will only give you false values.
For you to own your dharma, first you should understand that all dharmas are human invented and there are different dharmas, and you should go beyond a dharma.
My dharma placed certain classes of humans with in the group at an advantageous position in respect of resource collection, but that’s it, its purpose is to have suckers into eternity. To have more suckers promote fertility.
See, how dharma became the master instead of being a slave. It is all your fault. You people have too much reverence and faith, I guess just as I had when I was Rama.
Anyway enough of my insights.
Getting on with the story,
As I journeyed southwards I first crossed the river Tamasa and then the next day came to the river Vedasruthi, which forms the border of Kosala and the kingdom of Guha. After Guha honored me as a neighboring king, but I just can’t hold myself back. I gave a whole lot of advice to Guha as if I had the experience of ruling a kingdom and Guha is a novice.
Well, it is just my state of mind. I was so bitterly disappointed at not being the king and at being banished to forests that I had to tell everybody that I am superior. Anyway Guha had borne with me. The next day we traveled further south and reached the northern border of Ganga, the river. There we sent Sumantra back to Ayodhya, and crossed the river Ganga, and made way to Prayaga, a place where the river Ganga and the river Yamuna meet, and also where the ashram or our detective outpost of Bharadvaja is situated.
You see these ashrams are definitely detective posts. The news of my banishment reached this ashram even before I reached there, and I traveled as fast as I could! .
There I inquired about a suitable place to set up home, and the place called Citrakuta was unanimously suggested. It’s a place some ten yojana’s down south and sort of would be the farthest point of our incursions. It would also be a vantage point, since it is a peak, and a nice watchtower.
By the way, I need to let you in a secret. From all these descriptions of my travels in the epic, you can almost pinpoint my city.
You know what, the Ayodhya that you people believe now is not my Ayodhya.
It is just a town, which sprung up long after our demise and since it is on the banks of Sarayu, and my epic was pretty popular by then, then founding citizens of that town fancied the name Ayodhya.
Your credulity always amazes me.
On one hand you say that I am god and can’t even say how old our story is!. You like to think that we are beginning of all human history and thousands and thousands and thousands of your years old. You know that place is not that old! . Yet you want to believe.
No, I tell you people, that I was not born on the spot you people would like to believe I was born. At least believe Valmiki to have been accurate in the description of the geography that is nearer to my city, and figure it out yourself. I will give you one hint. My Ayodhya is situated one and half yojana’s on the east side of the river Sarayu. Even this hint is in Ramayana, along with a host of others. So, go do your own detective work.
Now you people don’t bother me with it nor fight over it.
But for you people Ayodhya as my birthplace is not really important is it?. I guess Ayodhya is your Jerusalem, and reclaiming my temple is your crusades.
Getting on with my story, at the outset I have to tell that I am a person with a very optimistic mindset. Even in this moment of supposed adversity I could see opportunities.
Beyond the wilderness, lie the fabled riches of Rakshasas. With their technological advancement and stable peaceful society, it is rumored that they have stockpiled riches, which exist only in imagination for raiders like us.
But I counted on one of their biggest weakness to successfully eliminate the rakshasas and plunder their wealth. It is that in these peace loving individualistic societies any outsider can keep making incursions and they keep making excuses to the agent making incursions in the belief that the agent will be a convert.
One day a strong incursion with a philosophical base to provide a ground beneath its feet will penetrate to the core of that society and phoom goes the whole set up and all survivors are made slaves.
Destruction.
That was my strategy. To win small wars, harass them, kill them, destroy them, until they choose a fight or surrender. By that time, I would be prepared to destroy them with spies and bribe mongers.
Well apart from pure plunder and enslavement, I had to take care of Marici the son of Sunda. I killed his mother Tataki and plundered their region, remember. Well, by then it was pretty much confirmed to me that they had found sanctuary with Ravana, and I believe they have not forgotten my deeds as well. But it still amazes me, that instead of coming to battle to vanquish me, Marici, choose to play the role of the mediator, trying to convert me to their system. When we killed him as well, I guess Ravana had no choice except to take Sita with him as a political prisoner, for either detailed explanation of their way of life or to bring me to his land, whence he could deal with me better.
Well, it was a misfortune to be deprived of my kingdom, but I guess the hand of god is at work, to bring me greater wealth, more slaves and bigger plunder. Or else why would I be banished to these regions where we have not tress passed before?, except for the destruction of these Rakshasas.
See, even in wilderness I think of wealth and the glory the wealth brings.
Anyway, in this God state I realize what a peace loving, mature society this Rakshasa society was. But back then I was all fired up to serve my dharma, gain glory and bring new riches to my gods, sort of childish.
One should be holistically developed to really live. Not like me back then, an automaton of my dharma. Winning a battle or even winning a war is not the end all of achievements nor does it bestow any superior happiness or meaning to life. Only if you are mature and spiritually developed can you find happiness and live. For that you never even wage a war. You understand your opponent so well that you have empathy with the opponent and find a common ground.
You never wage a war, nor do you seek destruction.
Anyway we set up our home on citrakuta. Well domestic bliss at last. I already had domestic bliss for about some years in my palace, but hey in the changed situation this is the first time I experienced domestic bliss.
It was at Citrakuta that Bharata met me. After that I didn’t feel like staying there any more. Partly because, I then knew that I had the support of the army of Kosala for further incursions beyond Vindhyas.
So, I packed up, and set up home at Janasthana. Janasthana, is where people that is Rakshasas, have establishments. Surpanaka, sister of Ravana is the regent of that area.
Since I choose the correct strategy, destruction until the surrender of the rakshasas, after this point it was a continuous story of martial successes to me, culminating in the enslavement of Ravana Lanka.
As I have been sufficiently stating until now, I am convinced of the superiority of the civilization beyond Vindhyas and in particular Rakshasa civilization, in this god state.
I don’t think I need to tell about every small incident, and try to justify it now. I hate justifications. I guess the other characters are better judges of events during that time. You are smart enough to piece them together.
Anyway our dharma, which you are trying to follow now, only celebrates victory. So, the defeated never make much of role models to you anyway. So, it is not really relevant for me to correct whatever version Valmiki wrote except in much broader strokes. I am doing just that.
I can only add that I am a fully indoctrinated slave of Dharma, and since the Dharma simply is a blue print of a slave system, I became aware of shackles of the system, and that realization ruined me. It will happen to everyone who becomes a slave of Dharma, by relinquishing his/her responsibility to question it.
Apart from war, destruction and victory, the realization of my shackles, made me a bitter man, and finally made me do quite a few unjustifiable things, which I have no desire of telling you all. If you guess, guess or be lost.
Now I will send you away, to give my account of actual Ramayana. Be proud that you are able to be of service to me. Be gone.”
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Rama never lost his sense of self-importance. I should be proud to be of service to him!!
I am doing this with the only purpose of getting rid of these gods and semi gods out of my life. Want to get rid of them. To be fair, once I put their stories on paper they never bothered me.
They let me live my life, free of them.
8. Sita summons me:
Part 2: Relevance of Ramayana in this day.
After Rama, it was a long gap by the time Sita summoned me again. Told you before hers is pretty heavy stuff, but with the parting conclusion of Rama, I was a bit curious as to what the version of these gods and semi gods would be.
In Sita’s view, her life is full of sufferings. May be it is true. One can’t pass judgment on another, unless one can have full empathy with the sufferer and I cannot claim to have such empathy, being in a different age and of different sex, though I see a lot of vestiges of the value system of Ramayana still in place in the present system as well.
If one looks for the vestiges of the value system of Ramayana, they are all around us. Most glaring, we still have the marriage system. Everybody agrees that in Indian marriage system, if there are any pativratas (most obedient wives) existing, it is because of the prevalence of Ramayana. Apart from the marriage system, we have the patriarchal family system, and the Hindu law still leans very heavily on Ramayana, for its code of ethics.
You know what, I believe that Ramayana was grossly misinterpreted by the modern day historians. It is the fault of Herodotus!. There are stunning similarities between Iliad of Homer and Ramayana of Valmiki. Both deal with abducted wives and their rescue by the husbands, with the help of gods and goddesses. One can draw parallel between a lot of characters of Ramayana and Iliad. Any historian can point out the similarities.
Herodotus claimed that Iliad is a true account of Europe’s invasion against Asia, and its subjugation, albeit with small modifications, and from that assumption a lot of European history is based and hence biased. There might be a lot of evidence for the existence of Troy and the Greek states, and there may or may not be a war of such magnitude, to rescue Helen, which formed the backdrop for Iliad.
Using the analogy between Iliad and Ramayana, Ramayana is regarded as Aryan invasion of Dravidians in the south, and their subjugation, since the epic war of Rama against Ravana to rescue Sita formed the backdrop of Ramayana. Likewise there might be a lot of evidence for the existence of Ayodhya and Lanka, but the war might be real or imaginary.
I take objection to both the conclusions, which might have sprung from same logic, in both the epics, mainly on the ground that in both the epics, there is nothing specific about statecraft, war, strategy and a realistic account of weapons and armies.
In both the epics, war is the color of the epic, armies grow in numbers to form a stanza, and they die in numbers to complete a stanza. War is the pivot on which the poems rest, and creates a colorful backdrop to generate reader interest in the epics. War lifts them out of dreary enumeration of ethics to form a patriarchal, male dominated, oppressive, self- destructing society.
Both the epics, with such glaring leaps of faith, in war and regards the intervention of gods in the war, cannot by any stretch of imagination be regarded as even marginally accurate versions of war of one race against another to establish dominance in this modern day, or to form at least a ground on which one has to base History.
Though it is an accepted fact that History is twenty five percent conjecture and seventy five percent prejudice and the only reason to study History is not to let its mistakes repeat, however the ever, present danger is the carry over of the prejudice in the garb of History and the resulting false conjectures.
Apart from the vague recounting of war, the other basic fact, that we all forget, is that though there is reference of the other and need to vanquish the enemy, there is no clear demarcation or definition of races, like the Asiatic hordes or the Dravidians of Indian soil in either Iliad or Ramayana. This etymology of the oppressed races is a concept at least as new as Herodotus, not before. So, how can it be assumed that these epics recount an accurate historical event of one race’s dominance over another to suit our modern day prejudice? .
In the hands of the modern Historians, who though they might object, are wily liars, since seventy five percent of History is prejudice, both the epics have turned into supporting their claims of, one modern day race’s oppression against another modern day race.
The glaring fact is that though both the epics are about oppression, they are about a set of rules or set of ethics for oppression in any society whether it is White, brown, black or whatever color, the modern day pen might choose to color its people.
Both are only, I repeat only about, honor-dharma, love and responsibility in a society, to tether its constituents to a post. Both promote a set of ethics with a germ of destruction to destroy its constituents.
As far as Ramayana is concerned, in this land, it not only whetted the prejudices of the later day population, it became a vehicle for promotion of later day prejudices. Look at the classification of varna, it was never blatant nor explicit in Ramayana.
In Ramayana, the poet describes every detail, including the sexual organs, of the hero and heroin. There is no inhibition. Why the hell would the poet refer to latter prejudices tangentially and not be explicate, if they are present then? . We can only conclude that later day prejudice mongers are seeking evidence from supposedly ancient texts by pointing out their prejudices in the texts, albeit tangentially.
If varna classification was the societal truth, the poet would be very assertive about it. When describing Visvamitra he would naturally point out to his varna, caste, ancestary etc. There is no such explicit reference. Like wise there is no reference of Rama killing Sudra for trying to learn Vedas in Valmiki’s Ramayana. These prejudices form part of the later day versions to some extent. No ancient date can be set for these versions and purana’s. Even Manu Dharma Sastra, which is hailed by the later day so called upholders of “Hinduism” as the oldest manuscript giving law to humanity, is merely a much later day compilation of destructive prejudices which are full of hate, and which try to foist one race as superior on the other races, thus trying to seal the superiority of a race in the minds of others.
Just recognize a fact. The so called Manu Dharma was never accepted as law in this land, except when the brahmanism took ascendancy and tried to confuse itself with Hinduism. But the later day proponents claim it has acceptance even in Ramayana.
Liars.
So, what relevance does Manu Dharma have except for the minority who foisted themselves as the elite up holders of knowledge, and had the audacity to claim that their knowledge set completes the entire religion. Its fucking audacity! . It amazes one, how they got away with that bull shit for so long.
Any human in this land, unless he claims a separate religion is a Hindu. Whether he is a proponent/follower of Atheism, Theism, agnosticism, free thinker, whatever. In the upheavals of time and history, the concept of varna might be there, but identification of a set of people to a varna is rare. Except for the hodge podge of a compilation of castes in India by the British who are very, very recent administrators of this land, there is no clear evidence of varnas or castes. So, how can the later day prejudice owners claim that their prejudices have roots in antiquity, and base their claim to antiquity by quoting stories which cannot be sufficiently verified, and so can’t be disputed as to their antiquity.
But they did and we allowed them that freedom to capture the minds of the more busy.
Even this brahmin ascendancy, though some claim is of some antiquity, is really a very recent phenomena, may be three to four centuries prior to this time, and it died out in a couple of centuries. But even that ascendancy was given a seal of approval by claiming a seal of approval in Ramayana. That set of ethics form the basis of a very unstable society.
Most of the prejudices even of Kathasaritsagara, are of recent origin and arose as a reactionary thoughts to the Muslim invasion, which is eradicating free thought with sword.
Having no sword, the idiots turned to mind control.
Even at the time of ascendancy of Buddhism, it’s ascent happened not as a reaction to the ritualistic Hinduism, but as an opposite of ritualistic Hinduism, whose rituals are neither satisfying the curiosity of the mind nor providing a feeling of conquest against nature. With the advent of civilization and rational thought, rationality rooted in cause and effect, and thought which demanded the same cause and effect to repeat itself, rituals turned out to be meaningless. Buddhism did not ascend because of the oppressiveness of Hindu rituals as it is sometimes made out to be, it rose in popularity because Hindu rituals have become irrelevant and redundant.
Adi Sankara with his Adavaitam, did not make Buddhism a part of Hinduism, he merely claimed Buddhism as Hinduism, by recounting Buddhism as Advaitam. It is more like land grabbing, but I think mind grabbing might be more appropriate term.
While Buddhism provided for an insight into human mind and societal organization, rituals clung on to the belief that civilized humans are still not rational. Just as an example, Hinduism (here when I say Hinduism, I am referring to the dogmatic religion of Hinduism only) never matured to allow divine sanction of temporal authority. Every great temporal authority is god; there is no sanction of god for such authority to a human. However, every rational civilized human, cannot believe a ruler to be god, however effective he might be. Buddhism on the other hand changed that concept to sanction of temporal authority to a human, by god or dharma.
The Hindu way of divinity of temporal authority is very Egyptian in its concept while the Christian way of divine sanction of temporal authority is very Buddhist. There are a lot of similarities between Hindu beliefs as proposed in Ramayana and Egyptian concepts. But the similarities are not profound, but they do indicate an exchange of ideas rather than copying of ideas.
Christianity draws heavily on Buddhism.
Leaving aside this digression, we can conclude that the varna classification might be in existence, as a concept and as a form of division of labor, but division of humans on the lines of varna in this land was neither rigid nor in existence, until the propagation of that myth by later day writers, during the brahmin ascendancy. This period of brahmin ascendancy is a mere flicker in the historical imagination regarding this land.
Ramayana became a vehicle for the propagation of such myths and prejudices and hence its sin.
Ramayana is still very much in our midst and hence what sita has got to say about the suffering it wrought on her is relevant. So, though I cannot claim full understanding, it is my duty to report it in her words as much of it as I remember.
9. Sita Summons me:
Part 2: Enlightenment and conclusion.
As I told, Sita talks of suffering and all the related. This time around when she summoned me, it was a long, long session. I did not complain or object, so that I could get it over in a single shot. Can’t be bothered again and again. So, this is the major and full account of Sita as regards the Ramayana. Here we go.
“I have already told you about my childhood and marriage, actually a sacrifice by my weak father to appease the elite of the system that he so slavishly follows. To tell you the truth, to date I cannot answer myself why I chose to follow Rama into exile. I could only tell you about my feelings then as I can recount now.
I was young, confused and in a new environment. I was continuously reminded that I belong to Rama and that he would be my protector and owner henceforth. Got a bit conditioned that way. Though I was critical by nature, I was influenced into the concept of belonging, and surrendering. It’s easy to get into that trap, because it means you are no longer responsible for yourself.
You see as human societies became larger as in our times, the concept of good of the society gained currency, and weak men like my foster father Janaka, became philosophical and had the audacity to define right and wrong.
Right and wrong have to be discovered by every individual but not to be learned. You learn and you take a whole lot of guilt into that baggage. Guilt creates a burden, which can be easily set aside by relinquishing your responsibility for yourself. Having been brought up in such a guilt-ridden environment, I fell prey to these concepts of belonging and surrendering. It clouded my critical thinking, and I fell prey to the false security of societal arrangements.
In my enthusiasm to see my mirror image in Rama, I saw him in the belonging and surrendering mode to me. I defined that sense of belonging and surrendering as love, and I believed I loved Rama very much and imagined Rama to love me very much.
Now I realize how wrong I am? . Rama is a man, my Master and would be Master to my children. That’s what our system was and that’s the expectations of every other member of our system.
I will let you into a secret. Ninety-nine out of hundred of all humans, in civilized state, do things only because it is expected of them to do. Even sex. Rama is no exception. He will not belong nor surrender except to his Masters, and I am not one of those. Anyway this definition of love is false. But then I believed that’s what love is.
Though I find it odd now, then I went into exile with Rama, because I loved Rama, loved him as I knew how to love.
It was with an abandon that I surrendered to him. I identified his happiness as my happiness. Why I did it?, I have no idea. Has Rama, identified my happiness as his happiness?. Then I was too confused to find out. Now I know he definitely did not identify my happiness as his happiness.
For him the dharma came first. Even in physical hardships he found solace in being a good slave to dharma. The fucking dharma which is skewed in favor of the patriarchal elite, and which even Rama recognizes as such now. But how am I supposed to find my solace? . By recognizing that I was a good slave to my master, the husband? .
I guess so.
That is what is expected of wives, right. Now I question why should it be so?. But back then, until I was slapped by events and brought to my senses, I was happy fulfilling the expectations of all around and in being a good slave to the system and dharma.
It is funny, to learn that there were intellectual discourses even in your day, which conclude that an Indian woman (read my clones) possess an infinite forbearance and huge capacity for enduring hardships. That she would undergo anything for the sake of her family, i.e. her husband and children. That it is her nature to be so and like conclusions, about woman.
What bull shit! . Even a woman, is fundamentally a human, no less and no more. Such ravings are either to appease the guilt of the man or a clever conspiracy to reinforce the mind for further slavery.
Just to make the inherent bias in the system as proposed in Ramayana clear, let me give you some illustrations. Rama must have already discussed the story of Ahalya and Gautama. Let me tell you the story in another version and show you how the sexual morals would be different in your day, if my version is the accepted version.
Ahalya and Gautama are wife and husband. It was the duty of the woman to choose the best male specimen to father her kids, and another male to help her in raising her offspring. So, Gautama was chosen by Ahalya as the right man to help raise her children, and found Indra to father her children, as dictated by vedas.
So, in accordance with dharma, she took Indra to bed to impregnate her. While she was in the process of getting impregnated by Indra, Gautama, surrendering to base emotions of jealousy, did the most ignoble thing of interrupting that impregnation, and further increased his misdeed by asking Indra to leave the house of Ahalya. Ahalya got very upset with the behavior of Gautama and cursed him to live like a stone.
Just imagine this version and imagine in what all ways your society’s sexual morals and mores might be different to the ones existing in your day. This should illustrate the built in bias of the dharma of Ramayana, and the attendant slave system it promoted.
My version would also form a basis for a slave system, but in reverse. Well, a reverse slave system would not be in any way justifiable and further it would not provide any redress to the injustices wrought by the present slave system.
A slave system is a slave system and it is bad.
Just trying to make you understand that’s all.
To give due credit, most of my insights into my system occurred only during my stay in Lanka with Ravana as my mentor.
Yes Ravana was neither my captor nor tormentor. He was my mentor. Before I come to those events, events relating to my abduction and torture, there is a lot of ground to be covered.
My first doubts about the self-created world of love with Rama, was in Janasthana. I never had any doubts about my system, even when I met Anasuya, the so called wonder woman, who was such a pativrata and willing to do anything for her husband and Master, that the gods let her stop the world for her husband, I did not feel anything odd about our system.
Never had the freedom of even thinking about the other. So, it was pretty hard to make decisions about an alternative. It was in Janasthana that I found the attitude and deeds of Rama very odd. Having grown up with Janaka, who was philosophical and sold to the concept of common good and the social imperatives to achieve that common good, I found the unjustifiable killing of the native humans, who were friendly enough to accept us and let us live in their midst, very disquieting.
You see there is a common good, and it is a goal to be achieved, of that I am convinced. What I am critical about philosophers like my foster father Janaka, is that the realization of what is common good and the social imperatives to achieve it, are to be realized individually. By teaching it, and imposing it, you drop in a lot of guilt, sin and associated negativism into the baggage and one may actually end up doing more harm than good.
When I questioned Rama, as to why he was killing such friendly and tolerant people as the natives in whose midst we are living for a while, he answered that I am too much of an idiot to appreciate dharma. That dharma dictates that all natives/rakshasas should be killed for the simple reason that they are natives and are different from us.
That is absolute bullshit and that was the point in time when I started looking at Rama with different eyes. It was then that I realized, that he is an excellent slave of his dharma. He does not have any doubt or inclination for critical thinking. Not then, but now, with all the clarity of time, I can say that he has become such a dharmic slave that he is beyond rescue.
The common good is something, which should be good to me as an individual because without me there is no world for me. Any deed of mine might be less good for me but might be more, good for the society. It is still a deed, which achieves common good.
Like wise a deed might be good for me but might be non-negative for the society, that is, doing no good for the society. Still it is a deed, which does not harm the society and hence a deed which achieves common good.
But if a deed benefits me and does harm to the society, then it works against the common good of the society. Such deeds destroy the society and ultimately me, as every one of us is ultimately no more or no less capable than another.
Anyway, my simple logic is if we kill the rakshasas/natives for the simple reason that they are different from us, we should also remember that we are different from everybody else, and by the same logic if everybody starts killing us, we would all be dead. For all the days and years we spent in Janasthana, the rakshasas/natives never raised a hostile hand to strike us. Their philosophy and way of life is such. It is more encompassing and understanding than ours.
There are some among you, who argue that the reason the rakshasas/natives never raised a hostile hand against us, is because of their fear of us, and their attendant submission to us, but not because of any superior philosophical grounding. That is absolute bullshit. They neither had any fear of us nor did they submit to us. At worst they are slightly wary of a stranger, that’s all.
Surpanaka, Ravana, Kara, everybody dealt with us as equals but not as our subordinates or even as our rebelling subordinates. They could treat us as their subordinates, but told you before, they have a much superior philosophical grounding. In their world-view there is no subordinate.
Well, Valmiki gave a very shallow and idiotic treatment of Surpanaka and her marriage proposal. That needs a major correction. I am sure Surpanaka, would be a better person to set the record straight. But I think, she is least bothered with her treatment by Valmiki. She is a grand dame and beyond all these petty issues. So, I guess it would be my duty to give a correct version of those events as far as my understanding of them goes.
Surpanaka, is the regent of Janasthana, the place we lived amongst rakshasas, for long, during our exile. Valmiki, camouflages and treats the character of Surpanaka very frivolously. Valmiki, avers that Surpanaka saw Lakshmana and Rama, and conceived a desire to mate with them, and proposed marriage with either one of them. Both rejected her and to boot, cut off her ears and nose, and left her bleeding.
Before I rationalize the behavior of Rama and Lakshmana, let me first try to make you understand what transpired then. You see, we have been living in Janasthana for some years, and Surpanaka is the regent of that area. Rama and Lakshmana have for long, been killing rakshasas indiscriminately and for no reason at all. Just taking pot shots at them, as if for target practice. When I questioned such behavior, I told you that Rama answered by saying that Dharma dictates and sanctions such behavior. Remember that was the point in time when I started looking at Rama with different eyes! . Under such circumstances it is highly improbable that Surpanaka has not set eyes on Rama and Lakshmana for long a period, while he is committing such atrocities against her people.
So, Surpanaka setting her eyes on Rama and Lakshmana for the first time and getting inflamed with desire is an assumption of childish intelligence.
So, why do you think Surpanaka proposed marriage with any one of the brothers?. You see during those days, when marriage is being institutionalized, marriage is an arrow in the quiver of diplomacy, for dialogue, peaceful settlement of differences and co-existence for greater good, just as it is even in your days. You should also remember that though Rama, has been committing acts of aggression by killing her citizens indiscriminately, Surpanaka never raised a threat to our lives.
The rakshasa’s philosophy has always been a message of peace. Peace by respecting the other, peace by understanding and having empathy for the other, and peace by constructive co-existence.
Rama and his clan’s, philosophy is a message of war and destruction. War by not having any respect for the other, war for destroying the other, and war for creation of wealth by robbing the other.
In this context I am sure it is clear to you why Surpanaka wanted to marry any one of the brothers then. As a first and decisive step for peace, she was willing to offer herself through marriage to either Lakshmana or Rama. It’s a sacrifice on her part.
Also one has to consider the conduct of Khara, her brother, on hearing the account of Surpanaka’s attempt for peace. It is again an assumption of childish intelligence that he would not or could not gauge the strength of Rama and Lakshmana, while sending a group of fourteen elders.
Khara erred in one aspect while sending in that group of elders. He erred in not believing the destructiveness of the brothers and their complete disregard to even minimum respect for life. Khara upon hearing the account of Surpanaka, as far as I can judge through the information I had while I was in Lanka, tried to rationalize the behavior of the brothers, by thinking that may be it is their culture that only elders from the brides family approach the groom or his family, though it is perfectly acceptable for rakshasa woman to choose and propose to her mate.
So, as per Khara’s understanding of the culture of Rama, he sent in a group of elders to discuss the marriage proposal of Surpanaka to achieve peace between the two groups.
As I said Khara erred in gauging the obtrusiveness and the singular lacking of any empathy for life in Rama. Rama killed the delegation.
The great Rama.
With no other option to achieve peace, Khara sent in an army to capture us. His intention was never to kill us.
Rama used poison gas to kill the army. You see Rama diverts all his energies to kill and Ravana diverts all his energies to peace. If somebody is disturbing peace the worst Ravana would do is to capture and try to make the offender understand the concept of peaceful co existence, while Rama would kill even with no provocation, for the fun of killing, and demonize the victim to justify the killing.
If Ravana wanted to kill the other, that is we, he could have easily achieved that aim. Rama’s weakness is evident in the fact that when he has to reach Lanka and take me from Ravana, he had to get the support of Sugriva and his army, including the support of Vibhishana, brother of Ravana. If Rama was so powerful, and divine as he is made out to be, he would basically reach Lanka after me, challenge Ravana to a one on one fight, and destroy Ravana.
Rama is no god, but an ordinary mortal, caught up in the web of his dharma, which preaches demonizing the other, and sanctifies killing.
Also I need to tell you one other fact, before you get convinced about my view. I am not invincible. Any hostile person upon my touch would not be burned to ashes. Viradha, another character having a clone in Odyssey of Homer, made me sit on his lap, in throes of desire to mate with me, as per Valmiki. Until Rama came and killed him, he did not die. Ravana held me while on our journey to Lanka, and nothing happened to him.
So, if Ravana is bent on killing, he could have killed me, while he captured me. So, you have to understand that basically Ravana is not a killing person, however much killing would achieve his aim, not like Rama.
With his attempts to capture the brothers coming to naught, Ravana wanted to abduct me to Lanka. He made his reasons for abducting me very clear to me while in Lanka. His first reason is to convince me of rakshasas way of life, and to suggest ways of peaceful co-existence.
The reason Ravana choose me for convincing is because I am a girl of earth, a rakshasa girl by birth, though I was adopted and raised by Janaka. The second reason being to get Rama to Lanka, where it would be easier to have a dialogue with him, or if need be to capture him.
Here I was not the Helen of Illiad, nor Ravana, Paris. He did not fall in love with me. I was merely a political instrument in the larger interests of society. I did not fall in love with Ravana, but I did have empathy and sympathy with Ravana in the end, though in the beginning period of my confinement in Lanka, unable to gauge the intentions of Ravana, I was very hostile.
I started appreciating the intentions of Ravana, only at the end of my confinement period, though he was out spoken about them right from the beginning. Ravana lodged me in Asoka garden, which is the most beautiful part of Lanka, and gave me companions who only talked of the virtues of their way of life, in an attempt to convince me of it. Nobody appeared to have any intentions of harming me. I gained confidence and started having empathy with them.
Since, very soon after I started looking at Rama critically in Janasthana I was separated through abduction, I never gained the maturity to critically understand myself, or the mind of Rama. Abduction being an hostile act, that too against my person, my mind was closed to the virtues of rakshasas and had no empathy with them for long. In my bitterness I clung to the image of Rama more slavishly without being critical and mature.
Do you know what Rama was doing while I was in Lanka? . To gain back his property, that is me, he was busy forming political alliances with Sugriva through political assassination of Vali. Turning brother against brother and destruction, how typical of Rama!.
This did not surprise me really, but what really surprised me after I came to know about it, is the love between Rama, Sugriva and Hanuma. Valmiki talks of friendship between Sugriva and Rama and devotion between Hanuma and Rama.
My foot.
They are all lovers. May be I should not be so upset about it all. But what I am really upset is that they have tasted love, and experienced the beauty of it all, while they could not recognize my ability and right to fall in love.
You see I am a female. My feelings are not as exalted as a man’s! . I have to be owned, guarded and controlled.
Love is beautiful. It is possible between any set of, combination of, individuals. It is most objectionable when the freedom to love is denied, through institutions, ethics, or otherwise.
Hanuma is a great person and capable of immense love. Hanuma was the male consort of Sugriva. Sugriva, by nature found sexual pleasure in women. Having been denied the company of women during his stay at Rsyamuka mountain, he turned his desire towards Hanuma.
Hanuma is a very beautiful youth, and Rama fell in love with Hanuma. That’s what I got to know later on. It seems Sugriva became a friend of Rama, through rites very similar to the rites of marriage. Later upon securing his kingdom and women, Sugriva moved away from Hanuma, and Hanuma never lost his love for Rama.
As I told before, I do not object to these sexual alliances. It was not, uncommon nor taboo in the days of Ramayana. What really hurt me, and what I strongly object to is the control exerted on my sexual life and sexual thought. I was always told what to think and what not to think. They tried to make me into a good slave, by trying to control my thoughts.
As for the version of Hanuma, I think he would be the best judge and narrator.
After all these alliances, political and otherwise, Rama came to Lanka and since I was not privy to the war I will skip that part from my narration.
After the death of Ravana the great mentor, Rama wanted to get rid of me.
Told you, he tasted love elsewhere. Now, he can’t even bear my company.
His argument was he conducted this war not for love or pillage but for asserting his property rights.
Now that he did assert his property rights by reclaiming me, he wants to get rid of me.
I am dense. Even then, I never critically assessed my situation. I sent in a delegation to plead with Rama. The indignity of it! .
Rama is a villain to the core. He put me through the test of fire. I wonder how he could conceive of such a test to kill me. With the help of the elders I survived it and everybody found fault with Rama out of minimum human sympathy. I was such an underdog, that I evoked sympathy in one and all.
Told you before, Rama is a complete slave of his system. In his system, the father and father figures make your decisions. He is conditioned not to violate them. If he hated me so, he could have said it then itself. No, that is not Rama. He finds a convoluted reason to justify his actions and follow the orders of the Master’s, in this case the elders.
He took me with him, but he also took Hanuma with him to Ayodhya. Many critics of Ramayana in your day, concluded that Hanuma is a political prisoner and holding of Hanuma in Ayodhya is an attempt of Aryans to impose political order in the Dravidian lands. But the poor lambs forgot one vital detail. Hanuma stayed back in Ayodhya of his own volition, out of his love for Rama.
Rama kept Hanuma in Ayodhya, because his love was such that he could not bear to send him away. Being the wife of Rama, don’t I know? . The indignities I suffered.
All for what, for the fear of critically examining my system and for not being bold enough to speak for myself. And I see my clones all over your land in your days. I am not saying that in every union through marriage, the wives, my clones, are suffering from the indignities wrought on them by the homosexual husbands. No, not all husbands are like Rama. Not all husbands live with their consorts in disregard to the dignity of their wives.
What I am saying is that even in your days, husbands are allowed a sexual freedom in thought and action while my clones, that is wives, are expected not to even think of such expressions. My clones just like me, slavishly surrender to such diktats. Some even think it is the natural order for men and women to be such. Such clones have gone one step further than me in the slavish surrender.
You see Rama hated me so much that he tried to kill me in the most despicable manner. Wanted me, a pregnant woman, to be food for wild animals.
You see, Rama had this doubt that he cannot father children. So, after such a long gap, he found out that I was pregnant, his suspicious mind concluded that the father of my children is not he. His mind is very suspicious and he just jumps to conclusions, told you before that he ran a police state. He has spies stationed everywhere. Also by that time he became a very bitter man.
Hanuman is a very potent man. It is rumored that even his sweat can make a woman pregnant. So, he immediately concludes that Hanuman is the father of my children. I am not averring that as fact. It’s just how Rama’s mind works.
So, the slur on my character by a washer-man is a pretext. People have cast numerous slurs against me by that time. I have been even put through the test of fire to prove my virtue! . No, they are all not important. Only a slur when I am pregnant is to be taken note of! .
Critics of Ramayana of your day, tried to explain this attempt on my life, as a ruler taking into consideration, the dissidence of even the lowest citizen and that dissidence being redressed.
Hence Rama Rajya is glorified.
I take strong objection to such a view.
You see the first fallacy rests in the assumption that citizens are low and high. Citizens are all equal.
Next fallacy lies in the fact that it is assumed that the ruler is above a citizen. Even a ruler is a citizen as well, no more, no less.
Third fallacy lies in the assumption that unsubstantiated slurs are to be taken as judgments and to be acted upon. Unsubstantiated slurs should be explained and examined even in a truly egalitarian society.
Ok, even if Rama, as per your modern day critics, acted as per the diktats of your Rama Rajya, and wanted to get rid of me, there are umpteen ways of doing it responsibly. Why hate me so much to decree a horrible death for me, especially when I am pregnant.
He could have told me about the slur and his intention to forgo me.
He could have sent me away to another palace to live as Sita, not as Sita wife of Rama.
He could have sent me away to my fathers home. Yes, there are umpteen ways of getting rid of a wife, responsibly.
Husbands do not hate your wives for no fault of theirs, and please do not commit violence against them believing that it is sanctioned even in Ramayana.
It is despicable.
Rama suspected Hanuma and me so much, that he did not delegate the job of leaving me in the forests filled with wild animals, without any protection, to Hanuma, his favorite for executing dirty jobs.
That job was delegated to Lakshmana. May be Rama incited family honor, in Lakshamana, by confiding his suspicions about my alleged infidelity.
With that abandonment I died in the forests.
Who can survive the forests and the wild beasts? .
I only survived in the book of Valmiki, since the poet could not digest such injustice. It was difficult even for him to portray my death and eulogize Rama and his system. They just don’t gel.
Just as me, my clones die in your day. They do not have a poet to bring them back to life.
Even Valmiki did not like my abject surrender so at least in the poem after giving me life and continuing on with the story, he made me commit suicide.
My suicide is an act of defiance against Rama and the system.
My clones, just don’t be my clones. There is neither necessity to suffer and be killed, nor to commit suicides as an act of defiance.
Be critical, guard your freedom, while recognizing the freedom of others, and be responsible for yourself. Giving up responsibility is so appealing. But it is the first step to slavery”.
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Well, with Sita letting me go, I had a lot of inconsistencies in Ramayana cleared. But I am so happy that she let go of me. Told you I just couldn’t tolerate such heaviness, it makes my head spin.
I believe she is much better than Kausalya. Sita at least had the realization in her god state, unlike Kausalya. May be her realization is either due to the fact that she did not survive to see her sons turn against her or because she did not enmesh herself in raising her children, except in the imagination of the poet.
10. Hanuman summons me.
Next in line is Hanuman. He is not a heavy guy really. No moralizing, suffering etc. He seems to know his mind, and just lived his life as best as he could.
Well, before I recount my encounter with Hanuman, first I have to put down some of my impressions regarding the concept of Hanuman, that he himself alluded to, regarding his popularity in our day.
Hanuman! . He is a God liked by all who are familiar with Ramayana. He is the perfect servant, and servants make the world go round. He symbolizes strength and courage, strength and courage that can only be shown by a completely devoted servant. He is just not a devoted servant, but he is a perfect slave.
A slave, who exults in his devotion for his master.
A slave who subsumes his desires to the pleasure of his master.
A slave who fights his master, only to bring him more glory.
A slave who lost his self in the self of his master.
A slave who finds his intense pleasure even in mere recognition of him by his master.
A slave who willingly chants his slave verses, verses that were full of praise of his Master, lest his mind might wander from his single-minded devotion to his master.
A slave whose only purpose in life is to serve the master.
Most in our present day society are slaves. Their master might be a human, god, dharma, or an idea. They like that intense devotion, which for them, at worst, is a tenacity of purpose. They love that strength and tenacity, as stepping-stones to their material success.
Told you before, most of them submit to this slavery, only with the hope to sit on the shinning golden throne.
Hanuman is portrayed as a monkey.
An animal with no self-awareness. An animal is expected to be harmless, playful and useful, or else it shall be dead.
So, children have their pet.
Hanuman not only has adults as his clones but children also love him, first as a pet, then as a harmless, playful, useful animal, and finally as embodiment of stepping-stones to success.
Their indoctrination is complete. They are irretrievable slaves.
This was how Hanuman explained his popularity, especially in our days. In our days, when even philosophy, is subverted to material acquisitions.
Hanuman then continued to tell his story, which is different from what Valmiki wrote. Valmiki, is not a liar in the strictest sense of the word. He never lies about the main facts, but then he is a twister. You take away all those twists, and the story that unfolds is much different from what he writes.
He writes with a purpose. His purpose is to camouflage the emotions, history and truth, to create a system of ethics to make willing, happy slaves for masters into eternity.
What the masters and Valmiki never realized is that masters are exemplified slaves! .
By the way, before I forget to tell you, when I first saw Hanuman, I was flabbergasted. I expected to see a huge monkey with a big tail, when I opened my eyes. Even after what all Sita told me about Hanuman and Rama, the picture of Hanuman as a monkey is so strongly imprinted on my mind that I guess I never let it go.
Instead I saw a young man of such beauty, that I was speechless. As I can never do full justification to Hanuman’s beauty, I would rather not describe his beauty. It is the beauty that shines from inside. It’s the beauty of an enlightened man.
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On seeing the expression on my face, Hanuman smiled and started his version,
“That is how my form effects anyone who sees me in my true form for the first time. Yes, I am a very handsome young man, not a monkey as it was made out in Valmiki’s Ramayana.
Your rational critics of Ramayana have come up with as absurd theory as to state that I never existed, and I was only born out of the desire of the conquerors to portray a perfect slave for the conquered to emulate.
They never understood nor comprehended me.
As for my birth, I was born to a woman through an un-remembered man. I guess my mother just slept around, and when I finally asked her who my father was, she just replied that wind made her pregnant.
Quite an excuse for free sex.
But back then, our sexual morals are much different from yours.
So do not judge. I never judged.
I was very happy to have a mother to grow up with.
I do not want to dwell on my childhood, as it would not be of material importance to anyone.
My intention on getting my version out through you is to clear some confusion regarding my relationships with Sugriva and Rama.
You see, by the definition of your days, what I had with Sugriva, and Rama is not a homosexual relationship, but as per my definition it was a homosexual relationship.
A system was spun through Ramayana and the likes, that your entire world has become black and white, with no gray in between. Just as it was in ethics, where it is only right or it is wrong, the whole humanity was divided into men and women.
In Ramayana in particular, apart from defining good and bad, and sanctifying violence against bad, the only major definition is a patriarchal family, in which women are wives and men are husbands.
The woman characters that were portrayed for emulation are Sita, Kausalya and Kaikeyi. Sita is a young Kausalya. They both are one and the same. Kaikeyi is only the opposite of Sita. The negative for the positive Sita. Kaikeyi is only useful to attenuate the positiveness of Sita.
So, a woman has only one role as defined in Ramayana. A woman’s only role is to be a daughter, wife and a mother.
As for the man role definition, six characters were used. Dasaratha, Laxmana, Rama, Ravana, Sugriva, and myself. What Dasaratha is to Rama, Rama is to Laxmana. Rama is just young Dasaratha. So, in effect all the three roles of Dasaratha, Rama, and Laxmana are one and the same. Its just Rama. Ravana is just the opposite of Rama. Ravana’s negativness attenuates the positiveness of Rama as desired. So, it is only Rama, Sugriva and myself.
Rama is the dominant male, while Sugriva and myself are the subordinate males. So, man role models are two in Ramayana, a husband who is the dominant male and subordinate males for the husband are acceptable, but they are not acknowledged.
Some critics have tried to conclude that what Sugriva and Rama had is a homosexual relationship as per your day definitions. But they are wrong. Sugriva and Rama had a political alliance in the garb of friendship, and they sanctified the fidelity of their political promises with fire. That ritual, much like a marriage ceremony, confused many, even Sita, to some extent.
Before I explain to you further, let me clarify some of the confusion regarding sex, love, romance that exists in your day.
You are all products of patriarchal family, as exemplified in Ramayana. It is much imprinted on your minds that family, that too a patriarchal family is the only form of social organization for humans. You found a lot of justifications for it. You evolved a lot of theories to sanctify that system.
Hence, it is your firmest belief, that on the lines of reproductive functions, you classify all humans into men emulating Rama, and women emulating Sita, at different stages. The non-emulators do not exist. If they make their presence known, you ignore them. It’s too much of an irritation.
For you, sex is an act of copulation of a male and a female, an insertor and an insertee.
So, for most, the world is divided into insertor’s and insertee’s. Even if you do not emulate Rama or Sita, even if you are of a different kind than the male or female defined in the Ramayana, you believe that humans can only be insertors or insertee’s. Nobody else. If you free yourself from Rama and Sita, that is, the husband and wife roles in your mind, then insertor and insertee became your definition of male or female.
But sex is not just an act of copulation or its physical substitute.
It is an expression of self, an intense feeling, which is akin to something as love, defined in your days.
To give you an analogy, in your days, it is accepted that an intense devotion to god/etc, suppresses the desire of the person to have copulation. Well, that intense devotion is a very heightened expression of self and that is sex for that individual.
What I am trying to make you realize is that sex is mental, and it is that expression of self, but not limited to the physical manifestation of it. The physical manifestation can be of any variety.
But most of you do not have this understanding of sex, and by your definition of man and woman, any union between men or between female, has to necessarily be fitted in the man-woman relationship. So for you any homosexual relationship is something in which two males live as a man and woman, or in which two females live as a man and a woman. You gave a term lesbians to females in a homosexual relationship.
To reinforce your understanding, many males and females in homosexual relationship have willingly assumed the man and woman roles, as the weaker of the two males naturally assumed that only a woman can love a man, and the weaker of the females assumed that only a man can love a woman, and hence forced the other female to be a man, not a male, through her expectation.
You see it is accepted that in any union the weak, underdog, the slave, has to be a woman.
To further complicate the understanding, many males and females have found the roles of man and woman to be too heavy a responsibility. Instead of understanding and getting out of their slavery, they tried to switch their roles or tried to escape that responsibility of being a man or a woman, by not being either male or a female.
All this confusion arises from your beliefs that there are only man and woman roles to play, and that sex is an act of copulation or its physical substitute, and that copulation or its physical substitute is necessary for happiness of the living.
Such confusion has made Rama glorifiers of your time, like poet Tygaraja, to be a Sita for man Rama during his moments of intense devotion. For the poet Ramdas, Rama is an authority figure, a dominant male, a protector and a father.
Yes, sex is necessary.
But sex is an expression of self, and procreation/copulation/physical variant, is not the only expression of self, but a tangible form of that expression.
May be sex can be understood as an intense feeling, the acme of emotions.
Sex is love, if you romantics believe that love is the acme of all emotions.
No, I am not a woman to the man Rama. But Sugriva and myself and later Rama and myself had a homosexual relationship.
It is with these males that I had the desire to merge my self, though I knew that union would not in anyway aid in my natural procreation. I did not have any desire for an union with a female, hence it is a homosexual relationship. My desire for the company of males subsumed my desire for the company of the female. That is my definition of homosexuality.
You define a homosexual as a male or a female, having a desire to participate in sex with another male or female. You define sex only in relation to man-woman sex. There lies the difference between your definition and mine.
Many questioned me, after my, ascent into this world of gods, about the why and how of such a relationship? .
Was it because of my childhood experiences? .
Was it because of my upbringing, with just my mother? .
Was it because of the circumstances? .
What was it that forced me to such a relationship? .
Was I being a woman to aid my mother? .
Was I being a man, to be my mother’s non-existent husband? .
Was I being a super man by controlling a man? .
Was I being a child to escape the responsibility of a man? .
Was I being a man with no purpose in life? .
Was I trying to take revenge on my un-recognized father? .
The questioning went on and on, and I am tired of answering over and over again.
None of your questions define me. Hence it is irrelevant to answer them.
Sexuality is not acquired. It exists. Sexuality, including homosexuality is not taught, it exists as self exists.
Only in societies, like ours, which permit, through the excess of their life sustaining goods or their lack of greed, leisure to speculate and explore the self, can one realize their sexuality.
I realized mine and that’s the only reason for my relationships.
With Sugriva, there is not much reciprocation. I was a substitute for a female/woman for him, when he needed one out of habit and during times when one is lacking. I never complained.
My desire for him was such during that time.
On being united with Tara, Sugriva, never even bothered with me, but by then Rama has happened to me as well.
All through his life, Rama, was never permitted to contemplate, he was indoctrinated. He was never fully aware of his sexuality, and when he became aware of it in my presence, his feelings went against his indoctrination.
It was so, during the rest of his entire life. Can’t refuse me, can’t accept me. In the guise of me being useful to him, kept me in his presence, never letting me go.
The confusion created by my presence made him realize his shackles.
Realization of his shackles increased his sense of self-pity.
His self-pity increased to turn him into a bitter man.
His bitterness made him a cruel man.
So cruel that he plotted and successfully sent his wife, an unarmed pregnant female, as food for the wild animals.
All through I never judged Rama.
I can in no way help Rama come to terms with his self.
Rama was never open with Sita. He himself lacks self-awareness, I guess.
This made Sita assume a lot with out justification. But she realized and understood me in its true meaning.
Her complaint was though Rama understood his shackles after I happened, he demanded and exacted suppression of thought and awareness from Sita, to fit his image of a woman.
He wantonly put the shackles on Sita, shackles he himself found to be unbearable.
Those are the dangers of the indoctrination for a slave society.
I believe there is infinite variety even in human nature and Ramayana merely tried to generalize and impose a few definitions for easy ordering of a slave society.
I am not sure of what I am. Don’t think I fit any definition of the structured slave society. I am neither a master nor a slave. I am a freeman. But Valmiki tried to portray me as a willing and happy slave in his system, that’s the falsity of Ramayana.
Even if I am a slave, realize that I am one out of choice and there in lies my freedom.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my story in Ramayana. Do try to put it in its entirety in your book, so that some confusion regarding my role, meaning and importance might be clear to people of your times. “
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After Hanuman, left me, I was sort of wandering around. I wish I spent more time with him. He was a person with whom one can sort of feel free, I guess. If he did not judge Rama, he would definitely not judge you and me. I guess that is the reason for the comfort he evokes in his companion.
11. Ravana summons me.
I have been hearing of Ravana for so long, that when he finally summoned me, I was full of expectations and I was not disappointed. Ravana was considerate and after summoning me, he was more inclined to get his philosophy or dharma, whatever you call it out rather than listing out the so called injustices to him or his people. Yes, his empathy for life was all encompassing. He is concerned about the future and present than the past.
This is the true account of Ravana as I remember.
Ravana began his discourse by saying, “You see, when I was on my death bed, I realized that was the beginning of dark ages for this Bharata Varsha. I could see the cloud of violence, irrationality and shallowness descending. I could smell the stink . I closed my eyes and summoned Rama to my presence.
He came.
I at least had to pass on the mantle to the victor peacefully. So, I bade him sit next to me and told him what foreboding I have about the future.
You see Rama and the dharma he represents is an intolerant one. Intolerance can and will cause untold human misery. Before the darkness lifts, it will leave havoc, confusion, and chaos in its path.
Enlightenment that there is no dharma is light.
This Rama vanquished us in war. A victory necessarily does not mean that the victor’s philosophy is better. Victory in war may be possible due to technological superiority, quirk of fate, or a better drive to survive. A better philosophy ensures that there is more enlightenment to its adherents. Any new technology, put in the prism of a philosophy, at its limit only ensures more enlightenment. That is the litmus test of a better philosophy, not victory in war.
Because Rama has vanquished us, he may impose himself and his understanding on us, but ultimately he will realize our understanding. May be not in his lifetime, may be not even in your lifetime, but soon.
Life is but cyclical.
It is to hasten your realization that I am embarking on this discourse.
It is no great loss that we vanish from this scene on earth. But it will be a true and inconsolable sorrow to have lost our understanding and philosophy as well.
I decided to pass on our understanding to Rama then. By repeating that to you, I am passing it on to you now.
Rama seemed not only to have any inkling of enlightenment, but he is not even equipped to think. His independence of spirit is so dulled that he lost the ability to think and to make any independent decision.
Pathetic.
But he and his clones will be the successors during these dark ages.
I gave Rama a sign, when what I teach him now is universally acknowledged, then will light shine again. Until then……
12. Ravana’s discourse to Rama.
Rama you are no god and you have to accept that.
You ask, is there god. But I ask you what is god.
It is your attempt to instill faith in me.
Alas god is self-created. Look into yourself for your god Rama.
But you persist, “to define god, I have to know, if it is within me or outside me”. I say, first define god, the concept, then you can bother with the concepts of within you or outside you.
If you define god as somebody with or with out a human form, controlling and tabulating all the human actions, and who defines good and bad, then there is no god. Rational human experience just negates the existence of such god.
Then you ask me if experience is to be relied upon, of all, human experience. You tell me a little story, how your experience deludes you. In the dark, you might delude yourself that a rope is a snake. Once light shines, you experience sight and know that it is not a snake but a piece of rope. See, how relying on experience led you to all wrong conclusions. So, you want to discard experience and conclude that there is god.
I would say that experience, experienced with senses gives us knowledge and with it we move forward. Your self is limited by the cause and effect rationality. Rationality, that can only be defined and limited by your senses. Rationality begets knowledge. Knowledge tabulates repetitive cause and effects.
Because light did not shine, and in the darkness I deluded myself a piece of rope to be a snake, I can still trust experience and the knowledge that it gives because that’s the best you can do. In the dark it is your experience. Every time in the dark, if a rope feels like snake, you gain knowledge that in the dark a rope deludes you as snake, but that knowledge does not negate your senses.
You should realize that until light shines, no ethereal voice spoke to you, or conveyed to you that it is a rope. You see there is no divine intelligence. Alas, even if an ethereal voice spoke to you, you still have to use your ears. The voice should be voice to your ears to communicate with you.
Realize that you have your senses, and memory and nothing more, and it is better to trust and go forward with what you have rather than try to define which you can never perceive and experience and thus not know.
You gain nothing, by wallowing in nothing.
If you use logic to deduce things, which you cannot experience, and try to reach beyond your senses, realize that the premises of logic are still based on your senses and experiences.
Using logic you deduce or reduce but you cannot reach out of your senses. You are bound by your senses, and until death you live within those bounds. Only death will erase those bounds, may be.
From birth to death you are bounded.
If you define god as somebody, who plays out the whole drama of human life for his amusement, then there is no such god. Remember that there are more interesting life forms than humans right here and they don’t have our god, so don’t delude oneself that human drama is of supreme interest just because it is of interest to us.
If you define god as somebody, who plays out the whole drama of life, not human life for his amusement, then he is a god of your imagination. He can never be known, except through, your imagination and your imagination can beget lot more gods than one of amusement.
If you define god as somebody who plays out the whole drama of life for his amusement and is a mere spectator, then let us not bother with that god, as it is a mere spectator. Let us play our role and exit.
If, we are to seize our destiny, and make our future, then, may be it is part of the drama. Let us do it with gusto.
When the human life is but a drama, it is a drama we created, and a web that we have spun. Having forgotten the purpose of that web, we might believe that the web has a divine purpose. Hence you believe there is a god. It is from you and by you that this web was spun and it is into you that web will recede. The web has no further existence without you.
If you define god as one who is non-interfering, something beyond your comprehension, then it is one whom we have no concern. Let us not bother with it.
But you still want to bother, and try to define it with respect to you.
You say, since change is inevitable, is constant god?. Or is god one who is without change, one who is constant?.
Since humans are forced to march only forward with time, is time god.
Since human perception says there is matter all around, is matter god?.
Since space and time are two constants of our perceivable universe, are they the dual gods?.
Added to space and time, since matter completes the human perception, then do they constitute the trinity of gods?.
Alas all god concepts are human created. All these concepts are limited by our senses.
It is humans who want to reach out and in deluded state came up with other strange concepts which are just that, strange.
Such concepts can never be experienced by humans, unless, they themselves are deluded. Deluded state gets you nearer to death, nothing else.
No, you cannot come to a conclusion. You tell me another little story. You mix salt in water, and say that until I taste it, I do not know that there is salt in the water. So, just because I cannot see, and thus cannot perceive, I should not conclude that there is no god.
I tell you, that until I taste and find salt in my perception, I would say there is no salt. If I cannot taste salt, and it has no influence on my perception, then I would continue to argue that there is no salt.
Just because there is a doubt, I cannot acknowledge that there is salt when there is no salt.
You say, see, if you cannot rule out the possibility that there is god, it is better to believe that there is god.
I say you haven’t even defined god.
But you say that if I am afraid of retributions, I have to believe in god, because I cannot rule out that there is no god.
Now you use fear to instill faith. You say, I have to believe in god! .
Hell with the retributions. For the sake of imaginary retributions I will not surrender in faith to imaginary gods.
Unless I perceive god, I do not have the benefits of believing in god, but am burdened with the faith in god. So, let me not believe in god unless I perceive one.
Now you stop converting me to faith. You try to convert me to doubt.
You speculate, and even sing your songs.
Man is returned to earth.
From earth comes the food.
Food is consumed by man.
From the food the seed grows in man.
From the seed spring’s the child.
From the child the man.
The man is dead and is returned to earth.
So is it earth, which is the mother? .
But whence goes the sacrifice. The sacrifice of food to man? .
Why does a man age?.
Why does a man die?.
How come a seed brings life with it? .
Whence goes this life?.
Where goes this soul?.
Is our love of whole the love of self?.
Is self the whole?.
What is there before the light?
What is there before darkness?
What is there before life?
You go on and on….
I say, what you would never experience, you will never know.
If this day is not impacted by your speculation, then let me not bother with it.
If I can perceive then I can know.
I know I am ignorant, but then I also know the limits of my ignorance.
But by being ignorant I need not invite doubt.
By inviting doubt I need not succumb to fear.
In ignorance and fear I will not bow to a non-existent authority.
Even after I say all this, you are still not satisfied, you try to define god, as not this, not that.
Something, which can only be defined by saying what it is not.
Well, you are getting nearer to my understanding.
God can only be defined as something, not having any attributes perceivable by us. By defining as not this and not that, you are now acknowledging that god if it has to be defined, as something which cannot be defined.
So, let us stop bothering with defining and thus knowing it.
If there is a perceivable god, we would all be gods by now.
Hence I say there is no perceivable god.
I do not bow to faith.
I do not bow to doubt.
I do not bow to fear.
I do not bow in reverence to a non-existent authority.
I only accept the limitations of self. It is only then that you stop bothering me.
Acknowledge that death is a constant for life. Birth starts it all. Let us bother with things between birth and death not between death and birth.
Where our perception does not go, it will only end in futile speculation.
During birth and death it is with earth that we are entwined , not with the heavens. So let us bind ourselves to earth, let us not delude ourselves about heaven.
I will tell you this. In past, present and future, all religions, god concepts and gods are only bothered with earth. They delude you with heaven but they themselves cast lascivious looks at all that is earth bound.
They use god only to rule the earth.
But don’t delude yourself that ruling earth is the supreme purpose of god. It is at best the supreme purpose of the creators of god.
Rama, the system that you represent is a system of avarice. There is no end to its demands. Whether you say god is the handmaiden of the state or the state is the handmaiden of god, it is avarice underpinning your system.
It wants to make everybody its slave, by making everybody first a slave to either greed or habit.
Then faith brands the slave.
In your system the only goal of everybody is to mount the throne, your throne Rama, your golden throne, and by laying a path of deceit to the throne, it makes the throne everybody’s goal and deceit their path.
Ayyoo, Rama, realize your folly. Your system puts earth in the power of the throne and emasculates everybody.
It is no longer the husband who husbands. The husband prostitutes not just earth but himself as well.
Your system sanctifies irresponsible wealth, and the owner spends it irresponsibly too, causing further havoc.
You are no god, and you are not responsible for this earth, but the earth is placed in your grip, and what do you do, you destroy.
Every misfit, who has successfully mastered deceit, is allowed to violate the sacred mother, the earth.
Every emasculated, spectator looks at the acts of the misfit on the throne and tries to at least masturbate, in imitation, but in vain.
That’s what your system does Rama.
I hope you and your clones will attain enlightenment, but if you don’t and everything is lost, Rama, that is the darkest hour. If it happens, realize that you will be the one to carry that cross, of complete annihilation.
Have enlightenment before its too late, I beg you.
Rama, it is against human nature to invite death and annihilation. So I believe we will triumph Rama. When will we triumph, I don’t know. But I will tell you the progression I see in the future, before we triumph.
In the future, first of all I see the death of god.
God will be dead.
Then it will no longer be nice to say that god exists.
Is it a point of liberation or lifting of darkness, you ask me.
I say No, the death of god is followed by something worse than god and the states to support the gods.
The nations are born.
Nations.
The cockroach of human concepts.
The gods wage a war.
A last and terrible war against this new upstart.
A battle for survival.
But the gods die.
The nations have a resounding victory. They kill all gods and they gloat over their victories.
Aha see, this god is dead and that god is dead, but a nation does not provide a god, for the nation itself wants to be a god.
The nation deludes itself that it has killed only god but it kills heaven and with it the best balm the human mind invented for the miseries of slaves.
So, the slaves clamor for heaven. The nation is limited by its past to offer heaven.
For a brief interlude, nations offer democracy in place of heaven. It sings peons for democracy. It composes, examines and extols what a wonderful thing this democracy is.
You see, they try to convince one and all, that democracy brings heaven to earth.
After all for you, heaven is defined in terms of material wealth and heaven is a forbidden fruit. Democracy is a better system to suck up earth.
But democracy at the limit only leads to anarchy.
Actually, anarchy creates your heaven on earth.
But no, the supporter’s of democracy will not agree, in anarchy the throne is open to all.
Voila in enlightened anarchy there is no throne. That is the biggest fear of lever holder’s.
They try to convince you that anarchy is bad, bad and bad. You will lose everything in anarchy.
They rest their case on the fact that there won’t be any throne.
The lawgiver tells you that you all being slaves there has to be authority.
So they try to convince you of the goodness of democracy as a cross between authority and anarchy.
They try to project an angel, but what comes out is a midget.
They tell you that authority will tell you what is right and what is wrong, so in order to know what is your own good, accept an authority.
Now the new heaven is democracy and the new god is nation
If you are living in supposed democracy you have heaven.
Every nation has its own mascot, just as every religion had its own god.
The first lesson in faith begins with education.
The nation won’t allow anybody out of its straggle hold. So, the nation makes education mandatory, and it is counted as an enlightened nation!.
You see, now education is the new religious ceremony. Every body has to participate and be a convert. Has to develop faith, and has to be a good slave.
If you are not a good slave, judges sit in judgement.
A slave system can only produce vile people. People, who are forever hankering, after something, that, they can never get.
The system derives its power from want.
The judges in such a system are the vilest. You know why? . Their need is to go beyond the system, but they owe their position to the system.
They become all false. They cannot even convince themselves. That is their misery.
Such miserable and vile people sit in judgement.
The first folly that the nation commits is telling you that you are not free, and your freedom is not absolute.
It is a folly because it is so obviously false.
It says that you are born with shackles.
However the nation is gracious enough to grant you certain inalienable rights, with which your freedom would be limited for life. You see, it would even put it down in writing.
But you see the comity of nations have an understanding, which drives the slavery down the throat of their slaves.
They brand their slaves at birth. What is born within its area of influence is its slave.
A master cannot compete for other master’s slaves. A master might attract other master’s slaves by dangling its goodies.
But the master only accepts after the slave jumps through the rigmarole and dances to the master’s delight.
The slave has to prove himself/herself worthy of the new master, before the slave can change masters.
You see the slaves are so free. They can even choose between masters.
How kind! .
The nation follows the religion to the core. But Rama, nation is a mutation, it is worse than a religion.
It is god. It demands faith. It has a throne. The path to the throne is deceit. It wants slaves.
The imitation ends.
Unlike a religion, where an alternative might be accepted, a nation exterminates everything not within its grip.
It demands the execution of the other.
It is intolerant than the most intolerant religions ever.
It tells lies, it convinces you that you are free and your freedom is dependent on its existence.
It says you are free to do this, that, … So, your freedom is defined and limited.
Some wise cracks say “your freedom stops at my door step”. You see the folly. Your freedom extends into the others house as well.
Everybody’s freedom is unlimited. Freedom is not defined and docketed. It is only you who will limit your freedom.
But first you recognize the infinity of your freedom.
Only slaves are given freedom, limited or otherwise.
We are born free.
Freedom cannot be given.
If it is to be given then it is no freedom.
The enlightened ones impose an authority on themselves, which authority is themselves. But they are a miniscule minority.
For this minority, law of land is at best a minor irritant, nothing more.
But remember that though they may be the law-breakers, they are the herald’s of death, the death of nations.
The vast majority are cows that walk up to the altar of the nation to be slaughtered voluntarily in the hope that their slaughter is appreciated.
By whom? . They themselves can never tell.
No! . Democracy fails to convince that it is the balm.
So, now begins another wave of war, but this war is a war of big mouths.
It is not a war it is a struggle. A struggle by slaves to regain what they lost.
A struggle to gain the supreme balm, the heaven.
God tries to be born again. But it’s a mistake. The struggle is for heaven not for god.
God is already dead and it will stay dead.
This war is lead by big mouths with little minds, slaves masquerading as masters. For long they do not understand the purpose of the struggle.
They fail to realize that the battle is for reinstating heavens. At last it is heavens that they look at and realize the sham of nations. It is then that they realize that a nation is big lie, a bigger lie than god.
The, big mouths with little minds, are succeeded by big mouths with big minds, slaves realizing they are slaves.
It is then that the death of nations begins.
With it’s death, the first ray of light begins to shine.
How does this death occur? . This, death of nations is heralded by a child, a child who does not fear to say that the king has no clothes on.
It does not fear to state the obvious.
The, child says, I am free. Isn’t the nation ripe for death. It has sapped the earth of its fertility, the ever, rejuvenating earth, for too long.
It is only after the child, that the camel comes. After, the child raises the first doubt, that a study commences.
Child a personification of intuition.
It is a camel, which loads all the concepts on to it, to say alas there is nothing useful in here.
Then it takes a lion, which is brave to say a sacred NO. NO, that will finally expose the sham of a nation, and announce that a nation is dead.
It is terrifying to create freedom to say no to the known paths. The lion wanders in the darkness and abyss, but does not go to the light it sees, but with steel in its heart it proceeds to assume new values, the new light.
It is only when even the lion heart falters in fear and contemplates running back, does it chooses to see the new light. The new light is always there, but it is only the supreme courage that lets the lion see it.
The lion not only says no to the nations but no to its own freedom.
That is the new light.
This no, a no uttered after being convinced, is the sacred NO.
With this no, the lion turns into a child, to create the web with this new light. It’s a child’s game. Once the new values are accepted, it is the child, which invents.
Rama most of us are lions, a few are camels and a few are children.
But what are you? . You are none Rama. You are a slave.
First you have to become a child and then a camel and then a lion to understand my tongue. It has to be you, and you alone who has to metamorphosis into all the three to understand me. There will be no outside help.
But it is the child in you who is needed to give the first push to the wheel and say, look this is enlightenment.
Then I see an end to the darkness, which descended on us with your victory Rama. Then I see the concept of individual, a free individual taking root, an individual who realizes his independence and who is no longer afraid to be free.
One who does not seek liberation from freedom.
An individual, who would be like us.
You know what will hinder this metamorphosis for long?.
Half-baked cookies, who want to usher in the metamorphosis, not in themselves but force it in others. Deeming it is the right way.
This drive to metamorphosis makes them half-baked and the march to put it in others makes the whole exercise useless, as a half-baked cookie.
They try to set an example, they try to set up their own cult, the truly audacious cookies try to start their own religion. But alas all they do is sink into further slavery, and with them they pull everybody who cling to them.
Because the half-baked cookies trample on others and bring in change, they consider themselves leaders of people.
That is the folly.
At best they can be channel for communication. A banyan tree at a village square, providing shade, but no opinion.
But no they are too impatient. First they climb a couple of peaks and then they jump from peak to peak. Then they believe they have grown too tall to climb any other peak. Since they think they are so tall, they believe everybody looks up to them.
What they don’t realize is that they have to grow so tall that they can’t see any peaks.
Their folly is they tie themselves to a peak deluding that it is an insurmountable wall. All their peaks are relative to their post.
But I am not sure of enlightenment dawning Rama.
Even the half-baked cookies may not be wiped out. Worse the half-baked cookies may be accepted as the authority.
Human mind is so conditioned by past, that it may not want to be free. It may not break free of the death wish.
The biggest casualty of that slavery is the human race.
It ruins the earth of humans, and completes the destruction of the race.
There shall no longer be earth for humans, and with it no more humans.
Along with them they pull all other life forms.
If it happens, Rama, mourn your victory, as the herald of complete destruction.
Though I am sure our philosophy and our way of life will triumph, anything is possible. Just as you in your darkness have set out to destroy us and your victory came to you, anything is possible.
If there is a divine finger tracing the path of human destiny, I might have predicted our victory, or yours in the knowledge that the divine being does or does not want to annihilate its creation. But alas there is no such finger and no such being.
If I am sure that it is only happiness that humans seek, then I could predict. But alas happiness is self determined Rama. You are happy if you choose to be happy. Even pain gives you pleasure and happiness if you tell yourself so.
If there is a divine purpose for human life, one could fathom that purpose and be sure.
Though it is terrifying to say so, there is no purpose for human life Rama.
For most the opposites in life provide a purpose. To avoid the opposite of life, death, is a great purpose for many.
The clingers.
It is we who give ourselves a purpose and put a yoke on ourselves Rama.
We too have our yoke.
It is freedom.
All activity is but an expression of self, Rama.
Life, without activity is inconceivable to us, it is death.
It is this light that lighted up our path. It is with this light that children in us have played and built up the web that we live in. It is our supreme surmise, and the bedrock on which our houses are built.
Rama, you may say this need to express or will to express as the righteous path, the dharma, or the god, which ever is your light.
In your brood, one day there will be children who will name our light as will to power and they are the ones who come closest to us. When you hear that, stop and listen. They speak our tongue.
We have realized that there are different lights for different paths, and have arrived at this light. You do not recognize that there are other paths, or other lights, which are just that, lights lighting up different paths. That is the tragedy.
You know what?. Do you know what your light is Rama. It’s that humans are slaves.
You after all are too human and turn yourself into the best slave.
You start out with enslaving and strutting, because you believe your light is under your control.
But alas, the light cannot be shut out or opened at will.
You become a slave, and then you are forced to be the best slave, lest the master’s whip dance harshly on your back.
Rama, take all you want from me, even my life but realize your slavery. Do not delude that you are god, that you will be master for life. Your delusion makes you a slave.
This is the farewell Rama. You have caused me mortal wounds, and I feel life ebbing out of me. My death is fast approaching. Take our material wealth, and if you can our intellectual wealth, and be liberated. Farewell”.
13. Repetition, my thoughts and enlightenment.
Well, that was what Ravana told Rama, as told by Ravana himself, when he summoned me to his presence. But I guess Rama himself is confused to this day, even in his god state, about what Ravana told him. He alludes to this discourse, but never states with authority. So, its not surprising that I am confused. Well I tried to reproduce to the best of my memory. In Ravana, I could feel some power, power acquired with a deeper understanding.
You know what, as days went by, I got intrigued with Ravana’s discourse. It sort of disquieted me. It did not leave my thoughts. Over time my thoughts matured to an extent and I found most inconsistencies in my understanding reconcile. I think I need to put this down to record my thoughts as well.
Well, after I put everything down in writing, I found it pretty liberating. This part of my book is really, for those who have read it so far, and couldn’t connect with what I am trying to say. If you are in anyway agitated, and want to demand an explanation, that would be perfect. This is for you.
So this bit is mostly an explanation of what I wrote and why I wrote it.
What did I write? . I wrote mostly what I felt. Feelings do not have any scholastic rooting. They do not come with references, proofs, arguments etc. Feelings arise out of experience.
But feelings are relative and they cannot be universal. Yes that is true. But one should recognize that the reality is universal, at least to a majority of humans, who can be termed as average, and hence normal. When I say reality, I am referring to the human systems, not to my sensory perceptions. Until now, I have never felt I am not average. In my wide search for my vision of Ramayana, I have not come across any, so I felt my view of this epic is not recorded until now. It may have been known or even widely accepted, but not recorded.
So, if I am average, and still, if my view of this reality is different than the view of at least a substantial percentage of humans, the one reason for it to be so, is that I try not to have faith, and do not have reverence or fear for anything. Faith, reverence and fear, are death.
Anybody who has reverence for anything, in my view has surrendered his/her responsibility to question the reverential object or concept. Such surrendering of responsibility to some construct is slavery. Any such construct is human invented and at best will form a basis for a social system, nothing more.
Usually the term slave is used to those, whose right to make their decisions has been usurped. The key concept is that slavery is something, which is forced. Something has been taken away from a human without his/her consent. But in my definition of slavery, the “slave” unquestioningly surrenders his right and responsibility to make decisions to some construct that he/she feels is beneficial to them.
There is no sharp realization in my definition of “slave” that something has been removed from his/her self, he/she feels by his/her surrender that the burden of feeling responsible for oneself is removed. This feeling of lightness, this clarity of vision regarding their future events in life, this finding of order in chaos, this escape from responsibility, responsibility to find your own order, is the opium which makes the surrender rewarding.
The conviction that feeling responsible for ones thought (that is one self) is burden, is a lie emanating from the merchants of faith. Only if one is convinced of the burden then will he/she feel the lightness in surrender.
Faith is death, is not an assumption I am making but “truth” through association of ideas. So, here I need to come from the basics and clarify the associations I am making here.
Firstly it is assumed, to be having conscious life, you should be having conscious thought. “I am alive because I think”. This is an assumption I am making because beyond thought I cannot find any bedrock. Thus death can only be defined in negatives. From this assumption, we enter into the realm of knowledge. Knowledge of life, and through this knowledge, we acquire the etymology of negative’s which define death.
Thought is limited by senses, and rational thought is examination of cause and effect through senses. Rational knowledge is repetition of cause and effect as perceived by the senses. Hence rational knowledge, which is assumed to represent human knowledge, is limited by the perception of senses. Even esoteric equations, which project and predict the unknown or even the unknowable, are merely projections of perceptions or imaginations through perceptions.
If this thought has a master, and that master is the self that is the duality or dwaitam. The self is distinct and universal, but the self, expresses as thought, if self dwells in the realm of life.
This thought has no master. The conception of self and thought are one and the same. That is non-duality, advaitam.
Duality or non-duality, in life, thought is a substitute of self, self in the realm of life is limited by senses, because thought is limited by senses.
Self directs thought or manifests in thought, in expressing itself. I use the phrase, expressing itself, because I lack another word to best describe it. It is hard to define self. It can be said to have the property of being “sarvantaryamini”, (present inside of everything). I approximate the property “sarvantaryamini” to expression of self.
I proceed further without defining self rigorously with the thought that many have failed to define it within our perception. Some defined it as something, which can be talked about, but cannot be defined. Some have said it can only be known by eliminating what it is not, and then you end with nothing. Some have said, it is the Brahman, which is there. Some have said it can be defined as something, which does not change. Some have said it is the one with no attributes. That it is beyond perception. None have defined it, and I take solace in that fact.
Here I use self, atman, Brahman, soul, as words which are one and the same and interchangeable.
During my attempts to define self, I find one speculation quite intriguing. What is Brahma Kalam, that is life of Brahma? .
The assumption is that it is one hundred brahma years. You read what brahma year is. Even if these calculations are assumptions with no rigor, as can be evidenced by saying that life of brahma is one hundred brahma years as the human life is reckoned at one hundred human years, the concept accepts that the life of Brahma is finite.
If brahma is Brahman, as it is universally said, then the life of Brahman is finite as well. But it is assumed that Brahman (the particle which makes up self) has no birth and no death. So how can there be a brahma kalam? .
It is then assumed that with the end of brahma kalam, brahma changes but there is no end to Brahman. If that is so, brahma is a cyclical manifestation of Brahman. If that is so, an attempt to define our brahma, to arrive at some understanding of the nature of Brahman can be made.
With the above, I speculate that one can assume that at least a facet of the nature of Brahman is rationality, since self is rational, and it can at least be partly defined by the fundamental constructs like space and time, since self perceives them as fundamental.
If that is so, then what does the change of brahma mean. I further speculate that a change of brahma at the end of brahma kalam, can only mean replacement of life’s perceivable fundamental constructs with new constructs.
So, even God/Brahman is rational! .
Getting back to my main line of association and enquiry, I make a statement that “self is expression” in the realm of life. This statement is dependent on the assumption that “life is thought”. Some have reduced this “expression” to mean hunger, pampering of senses, sex and reproduction, greed, etc. Others have concluded that self is driven by its desire to merge with Brahman from which it has manifested, with the association that water from ocean strives to get back to ocean from which it originated. Nietzsche has concluded that will to power is the will of self. Maslow has given a hierarchy of needs with self-actualization as the highest need. All these conclusions are based on the assumption that expression of self is universal (Sarvantaryamini).
Whatever might be the conclusion drawn, the undeniable thread is that the property of self is to express. Any thought, is an expression of “I”, that is self. Power can be thought of as the expression of self, albeit a master of all expressions of self.
Self-actualization can be thought of as the highest expression of self. When I say something is the highest expression of self, I do not mean that I accept a hierarchy of levels for the self to express serially. I merely accept that if we imagine in the manner, if hunger is satisfied, why doesn’t thought stop, when sexual needs are satisfied why doesn’t the thought stop, and after we imagine, after self-actualization why doesn’t thought stop, we came up with none. Self-actualization is not dependent on any predecessor, and though some might have the arrogance to assume otherwise, is universal. In some it might not be apparent and might be wrapped up in the darkness of faith but it is universal.
Will to power or expression of self is present in all thought and is inseparable with thought. It is universal. Universality is the fundamental property of will to power, just as self-actualization. Will to power is the master of other wills. All wills of self are expressions of self and expression of self is the supreme will. All wills are expressions of self and will to express is will to power.
If self is expression and life is thought and thought and self are inseparable, then life can be assumed to be expression. Since self in the realm of life, through thought expresses itself, life is expression of self. This conclusion is based on the assumption that “life is thought”.
Since thought, is limited by perception, expression, necessarily has to be rational. Hence we proceed by accepting that life is rational, we also concluded that God is rational and Brahman is rational. By rational I mean that we seek cause and effect. In that, cause and effect if we find repetitiveness, we find knowledge. As an extension of above arguments we can also say “life seeks knowledge”. Another way of saying this is “self expresses as knowledge”.
As per my understanding, Vedanta is concerned about the properties and definition of self. Since Brahman and self has no death, death did not play a major role in Vedanta speculations. But then it did not reduce speculations to the realm of rationality. The speculations never escaped the world of perception, they emanated from perception or from the assumption of “not perceivable”, thus making perception the bedrock of all speculations.
In my opinion, it is Buddhism, among the thought streams we find in recorded history, to reduce these speculations to rational thought. Rational thought that dwelled in the realm of life. It identified sorrow and recognized death. Sorrow is defined as the state of mind where it is the negative of positive happiness. If happiness is life, then sorrow is death. If that is so, complete sorrow is death. But happiness, is not an absolute state of mind, it is relative. However these terms do convey the associations well. Names have been given to the causes of sorrow, namely, greed, disease, death etc. But sorrow is just negative for positive life. It is just the negative of expression of self.
Sorrow is the state of mind when the expression of self is not complete or when the expression is shattered. Again as per my understanding, Buddhism assumed that self-expression can never be complete, hence life is full of sorrow. To get out of this sorrow is to convince the self not to aspire for expression. But it is against the nature of self not to aspire for expression.
If violence is defined as destroying of the expression of another self, then to guarantee happiness, the opposite of sorrow, Buddhism advocated non-violence. As per my understanding Buddhism is the first to moot the concept of non-violence to guarantee the happiness of humans, through a rational understanding of life.
A self, which seizes the concept of non-violence and expresses itself in non-violence will know the limits of its aspirations and thus avoid sorrow, there is no need to convince the self not to aspire for expression. Such a self is the highest expression of individuality, individuality, which can only be understood by conceptualizing the universality of self, individual self, and non-violence. That self might also be said to have attained self-actualization. As I noted before since self-actualization is universal, though not apparent, individuality is also universal. Such a self can also be described as enlightened, and by knowing the limits of its expression has found its self-interest in its enlightenment. Such a self by not being in sorrow, it should be in happiness, that is, in life. By avoiding sorrow even at the death of the body, self is assumed to be not dead. Such a conclusion is again reinforcing the concept of constancy of self.
Faith is the amputation of rational thought. If rational thought proceeds from the assumption “life is thought” which itself is rational, faith asks the self to change that assumption to its desire and proceed rationally from that assumption. If any self proceeds rationally, only from the desired assumption of that faith, has the same experience and knowledge of that faith. However any self with its universal property of expression, which it does by acquiring knowledge, would transcend faith, and expose the irrationality of the desired assumption of faith. That is inevitable. To postpone its destruction, faith uses fear or reverence in its construct.
Both fear and reverence are fundamentally one and the same. Fear is the negative of positive reverence. They both are only defined with rational attributes, to make sense to the self. In its quest for knowledge, the self will overcome them both. But the reverence/fear will give life to faith.
Art is an expression of self, self, overcoming faith. Faith gives a market for that art. With no shackles of faith, every expression of self is art.
All religions are born in faith, and end up as social constructs, through their adaptation to rational thought. After their adaptation, their core is a set of ethics, which is the only element, which makes the religion relevant. The so called masters of the religion, in the vain hope to maintain their freeloader status, raucously argue that their set of ethics owes its existence to their faith, hence themselves, the original merchants of faith. That set of ethics, exist because they are the end products of the rational adaptation of that religion. Faith is not the cause of that ethics. Faith is actually a hindrance to the birth of that religions ethics.
Immanuel Kant and his categorical imperative’s are an acme of rational social constructs. It was not born in faith. Democracy as it exists now, is a child of Kant.
The concept of a nation is a child of faith in the modern days. It is just a social construct, but its faith demands that, the concept is too reverential to be questioned. At the risk of repeating myself, nations have become the bane of humanity in this day. Even secular nations, survive as the modern day religions.
Free market economy is also a child of faith. This faith demands that cash is a substitute to expression of self and cash is the arbitrator of violence.
Thus rationality and enlightened self-interest, which is born out of rationality, have been the concepts from so called antiquity to present. They are not only present all through the period of knowledge acquisition of humans, but they are universal.
Thus, I conclude that what I am trying to say here is universal and something, which need not be learnt.
It exists and it is self-evident. The first casualty of faith is thought. Faith is a destroyer of life. With these associations I restate, “Faith is death”.
Fear and reverence, we can assume reverence for fear as well, are the life givers of faith. So humans who take the opium of faith, simply because the merchants of faith are too raucous, and are reverent or fearful, have got a master to their thought, a master other than their self. Hence I classify them as slaves. I found no other term, which suits my purpose.
Most argue that surrender is necessary to impose any social order. This surrender masquerades as pragmatism, compromise, being realistic, etc. Only in ordered societies, societies grow, leisure is found and culture flourishes, ultimately man leaves his imprint on time.
To such imprinters in time, I can only say, self evident knowledge can, neither be imposed nor taught. Only exit of faith, fear and reverence can make it shine. Only then are the shackles gone.
If you try to impose, you make faith your handmaiden and fear and reverence are the companions of faith. When you impose you spin another slave system, and not only does your system become finite, you become a glorified slave. This knowledge of self is universal and self-evident. If it has not found it’s way yet, it soon will.
What I wrote is my association of self, expression of self as a fundamental and universal property of self, rationality, and enlightened self-interest. Faith with its companions of fear and reverence is a destroyer of rationality.
So, now you know what it is that I wrote in this book? . It is really not about Ramayana. I used Ramayana because it is widely accepted social construct (a patriarchal family system). Its faith is evident in its demand for belief in its defined roles and the attendant set of ethics. Through the exposure of the sham of those characters, I have tried to help the reader in their “ aroharanam / adhiroharanam” (ascent/descent) to faithlessness.
I can define my “aroharanam / adhiroharanam” as loss of faith in magic, loss of faith in rituals, loss of faith in religion, loss of faith in human system, loss of faith in desire, loss of faith in god.
Once I reached the stage of losing faith in god, I wanted a god and out came thought! .
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